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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30021432">One Day We Will Be</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tania885/pseuds/Tania885'>Tania885</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Us Three Were Meant to Be [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Fluff and Smut, Avengers Family, Avengers Tower, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Drunken Shenanigans, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Prequel, Reader-Insert, SHIELD Agent Reader (Marvel), Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Vaginal Sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:42:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>33,093</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30021432</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tania885/pseuds/Tania885</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the Prequel to my fic ‘Meant to Be’. </p><p>You’re an agent of Shield. Director Fury assigned you to work with Steve Rogers when he joined shortly after he was pulled from the ice. You helped show him the ropes and introduced him back into the world, and he was also your partner. Needless to say after spending a lot of time with him you couldn’t help but fall in love with him, but sadly he doesn’t seem to feel the same.<br/>During the fall of Shield aka Hydra, you find out his best friend Bucky Barnes is not dead, he’s in fact very much alive and also a super soldier. A fight breaks out and ends with Bucky being apprehended. Steve asked you to help his best friend like you helped him. It’s like history repeated itself. You couldn’t help but fall in love with a second super soldier. Do you give up on pining over one super soldier and move on with the other that does seem to have feelings for you?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Us Three Were Meant to Be [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2208570</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>86</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My fic 'Meant To Be' went so well I decided to write a prequel. This is going to start around Winter Soldier, but I'm not entirely following the story line. And Civil War won't happen, Bucky didn't kill Tony's parents.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>CHAPTER 1</p><p> </p><p>The sun begins to rise over Washington D.C. as you walk through the park and take a seat on the bench. You check your watch and then glance around the park for the person you’re looking for. He should be almost finished with his morning run, well more like a marathon if anyone were to ask you. You finally spot him across the park running past another guy that looks like he’s attempting but failing to keep up with him. When the guy stops and basically collapses next to a tree you see Steve circle back to check on him.</p><p> </p><p>You’ve been working with and befriended Steve Rogers since shortly after the attack on New York by Loki and the Chitauri. Fury had talked him into joining Shield. He hadn’t been out of the ice for very long. Fury assigned you to him, to show him the ropes and basically integrate him back into the world. You weren’t star struck by the fact that he was Captain America. You saw a kind, but confused and sad man who just had his entire world turned upside down. So you treated him like he was a regular guy because you quickly noticed he wasn’t a very big fan of having the attention of everyone or the spotlight on him. He always seemed to appreciate that about you. </p><p>He was very easy to become friends with. He is the sweetest and nicest person you’ve ever met. You love the old fashioned personality he has. He’s a little embarrassed by it sometimes because he feels out of place, and doesn’t know how to fit in. But you never let him feel that way, that’s another thing he also seems to appreciate about you. </p><p>There’s only one problem you have. He is so unfairly handsome and just overall perfect you couldn’t help but fall in love with the man. It’s getting harder and harder to not just throw yourself at him. The only thing stopping you is you’re not sure he feels the same and don’t want to ruin this close friendship you have with him. </p><p>You keep telling yourself to just make a move. If he doesn’t feel the same then things will be awkward for a while sure but you don’t think he’d completely shut you out. He’s just too nice of a guy to do something like that. But of course everytime you chicken out. Maybe today will be the day though. Or maybe you’ll think about it tomorrow.</p><p> </p><p>You walk across the park and catch up with Steve and the guy he’s talking to. It’s seriously unfair how sexy he looks in a simple jogging outfit. He has on a tight gray shirt and jogging pants that just hug his physique perfectly. You have to force yourself not to lick your lips like a creepy person as you approach him. You shake your head to try and push the lustful thoughts aside. “Steve did you seriously hurt someone with your outrageous morning marathon? Maybe I should give him your coffee instead.”</p><p>He smiles as he turns toward you. “Don’t you dare. Not my fault he tried to keep up. And good morning to you too doll.” Between his smile and calling you doll, you instantly melt and hand him his coffee. “Thank you doll, you're the best. (Y/N) this is Sam Wilson. Sam this is (Y/N) (L/N) one of my closest friends and we work together.”</p><p>Sam smiles and gives you a flirty wink. “Hey girl, you can bring me coffee anytime you like.” He’s cute and seems to have a sense of humor, but he’s definitely not the guy you have your heart set on. You scoff at him teasingly. “Sorry, but did you really think that line would work?” Steve starts laughing and Sam holds a hand to his chest like he’s wounded. Then both your and Steve’s phones go off. You know what that means without even looking. </p><p>You groan dramatically as you reach for your phone. “Ah man, it’s too early for this shit. I haven’t even finished my coffee.” Steve chuckles and throws his big muscular arm over your shoulder. Oh how you would love to have those strong arms wrapped around you in a different way. And how is he not sweaty? He just ran like 13 miles and you don’t see a single drop of perspiration on him. That makes you wonder if he’s like that in the bedroom too. Steve’s voice thankfully pulls you from your dirty thoughts. Steve shakes Sam’s hand with his free one since he still has an arm over you. “Sorry Sam, looks like duty calls.”</p><p>Moments later Natasha pulls up in a flashy car owned by Shield. “Hey guys, any of you know where the Smithsonian is? I’m here to pick up a fossil.” Steve slowly pulls his arm off you and scoffs at her. “Yeah you’re hilarious.” Then you notice Sam staring at Nat so you take a step closer to him. “Don’t even think about it. Trust me, she’s more woman than you can handle.” Then you walk away with Steve and leave a sulking Sam sitting on the ground watching you all drive away.</p><p> </p><p>As you’re getting ready for your mission on the Quinjet you fight the urge to not knock Natasha around. Or Brock Rumlow for that matter. You aren’t afraid of Nat like everyone else. You’ve worked with her fairly frequently through Shield. And now she often comes with you and Steve on missions. Sure she is the terrifying Black Widow, but you’ve gotten to know her and don’t let her intimidate you anymore. She’s been pissing you off to no end lately because she’s been trying to set Steve up on dates. Much to your relief he says no every time. You suppose in her defense she doesn’t know you have feelings for Steve. You’ve never told her because you don’t want her to interfere.</p><p>Then there’s Brock Rumlow who’s on the Strike team that often gets sent on bigger missions with you and Steve. He hits on you shamelessly. Sure he’s attractive, but there’s something about him that just rubs you the wrong way and you want to just punch him in the face sometimes.</p><p>“Got any plans with weekend Rogers?” Nat asks curiously.</p><p>Steve glances at you and gives you a small smile. “Just a movie night with (Y/N). She has compiled a list that I think will take years to get through.” He teases.</p><p>“Hey Clint Barton helped me make that list thank you very much, and we worked very hard on it.” Yes Clint Barton, the famous Hawkeye. He’s a close friend of yours. Even though you both work for Shield you’ve never actually worked with him directly. He tends to work alone on missions, or on occasion with Nat. But you like to stir up mischief together. That’s probably another reason why Fury has never assigned you and Clint to the same mission.</p><p>Nat rolls her eyes at you. “How much drinking took place during the creation of that list?”</p><p>You shrug your shoulders. “You know how competitive we get. One night was during a beer pong tournament. Oh there was another night we had a jello shot contest. Okay I’d say 40% was made while sober. That’s almost half...that’s pretty good. Right?”</p><p>Steve shakes his head and laughs. Nat rolls her eyes again and turns back to Steve. “You know if you asked Kristen from Statistics out she’d probably say yes.” Steve throws his shield on his back and walks toward the back of the Quinjet that’s now wide open. “That’s why I don’t ask.”</p><p>“Too shy or too scared?” Nat yells now that the wind in the jet is getting louder.</p><p>“Too busy.” He replies right before he jumps out of the Quinjet without a parachute. It makes you want to scream every time he does that. But sadly you’re more relieved he’s not going to ask Kristen out. You are pulled from your thoughts when a body looms over you and cages you in next to a wall. Ugh. Brock. “How about you skip out on the old man and go out with me Saturday night?” He says with a sleazy smile on his face.</p><p>You swat his arm away so you can get past him. “I’d rather jump out of a fucking plane than go on a date you with.” Then you walk toward the back of the jet to jump following after Steve, but you at least have a parachute on your back. But just before you jump you hear him shout. “You know I love it when you get feisty darlin’.” So you flip him off as you jump and try to not hurl on your way down.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p>
<p>CHAPTER 2</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The morning started off normal, just like any other. You met Steve in the park with coffee as usual and even saw his new friend Sam again. There were no missions to go out on today so you and Steve had to part ways for a while. He’s going to go visit with Peggy Carter like he usually does with his time off. That had to be hard for him to process. One day she’s a young beautiful 20 something that he’s head over heels for. Then the next she’s 90 and only remembers him half the time. Her memory comes and goes. Is it bad of you to think her loss is hopefully your gain? You’re not sure so you keep that thought to yourself.</p>
<p>So while Steve’s off visiting Peggy you get to go back to Shield headquarters and help weed out some of the new recruits. They have to do an strenuous obstacle course which very few make it through. Can’t be a field agent if you can’t make it through the course. Once you get through that you are going to meet back up with Steve at his apartment. It’s Friday, so you always go to his apartment or sometimes he’ll come to yours. The two of you spend most of your weekends or days off together. It’s not like you have far to go though, he’s your neighbor.</p>
<p>You found out Fury was going to assign Agent 13 aka Sharon Carter, who also happens to be Peggy’s niece, to move into the apartment next to Steve’s to ‘protect’ him, but was in fact just spying on him. So you told Steve. When Fury reprimanded you for it you refused to apologize. Steve’s your partner, if you lie to him he’ll stop trusting you. Just like he doesn’t trust Nat. The last mission you went on Fury gave her a side mission and neither of them told Steve, needless to say he wasn’t very happy about it. So since you blew Agent 13’s cover Fury told you that you could move in next to Steve. Of course you brought it up to Steve first, but he said it was okay with him. He liked the idea of having an actual friend right next door. Having the object of all your desires right next door though has only increased your pining for him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As you’re standing inside the Triskelion, Shield Headquarters, watching these new recruits attempt the obstacle course you get a feeling it's going to be a long day. Your suspicions turn out to be correct when Brock Rumlow walks in. Clint was already there, standing next to you. When you lean your head back a whine like a child he looks around the room and quickly figures out why. He smirks and nudges your shoulder. “Your boyfriend came to hang out with us huh?”</p>
<p>“Oh fuck you Barton.”</p>
<p>Brock of course makes a beeline straight to you with a smug smile on his stupid face. “Hey sweetheart, must be my lucky day. I didn’t know you were gonna be here.” You cross your arms over your chest and roll your eyes. “Goody for you Rumlow.” You say dryly and then turn back to Clint in hopes that Brock will just go away. Far, far away. You elbow Clint harder than necessary because you can see him smiling. “Bet ya $20.00 this next recruit doesn’t make it through the course.”</p>
<p>Clint smiles at you. He’ll never turn down a chance to compete with you or place a bet. “You’re on.”</p>
<p>After you get about $100 off Clint, Brock decides he wants in on the fun too. “How ‘bout if this next chick makes it through you have to go out on a date with me.” You cross your arms over your chest. You’re feeling cocky. You’ve gotten 5 out of 5 right so far. So you glance at the chick next in line for the obstacle course and look her up and down. “Okay Rumlow, but if I win you can never hit on me again.”</p>
<p>Brock extends his hand. “You got yourself a deal sweetheart.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>10 minutes later…</p>
<p>Clint is laughing hysterically, he didn’t attempt to contain his laughter. Not even a little. The look of horror on your face when that chick crossed the finish line was priceless. Brock has the smuggest look on his face you think you’ve ever seen. Oh god this can’t be happening. You don’t want to go on a date with Brock fucking Rumlow. You turn to him and narrow your eyes as you point at him angrily. “You cheated! I don’t know how, but you cheated!”</p>
<p>“Doesn’t matter darlin’. A bet’s a bet. You shook on it.” He slaps you on the ass as he walks away. “I’ll see you Friday night. Wear something sexy, yeah?”</p>
<p>You shudder at the thought of dressing up from him, and stomp your foot on the ground throwing a tantrum. Then because Clint still hasn’t stopped laughing you kick one of his legs out from under him knocking him on his ass. When he hits the ground with a hard thud he stops laughing for like 2 seconds and then he starts up again. “I hate you so much right now. I thought we were friends, you jerk.”</p>
<p>“I wish I had a camera pointed at you when she finished the course. You’d be laughing too if you saw your face.” </p>
<p>“Fuck you Clint. Fuck you.” You growl out and then stomp out of the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When you make it back to your apartment you’re in a foul mood. But you know one thing that will cheer you up, or one person actually. After you get changed and grab some movies you head over to Steve’s apartment. You knock once and walk in. He does the same when he goes to your apartment. Neither of you care if the other just walks in. </p>
<p>Your anger immediately dissipates the moment you lay eyes on Steve’s smiling face. “Hey doll, how did it go with the new recruits?” Your anger boils again briefly when you’re reminded of the days earlier events. You huff as you plop down on his couch. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”</p>
<p>He chuckles at you as he hands you a bowl of popcorn. “That bad huh?” You just grunt in agreement as you start stuffing your feelings away with junk food. Once you turn a movie on, Steve sits down on the couch next to you. Literally right next to you, like your thighs are touching. Oh how you would love to just climb into his lap and straddle those muscular thighs. But sadly you’re too big of a chicken shit so you just flop your head against his shoulder.</p>
<p>Steve lifts his arm and drapes it over your shoulder allowing you to lean in closer. See it's things like this that give you mixed signals. He’s never really flirted with you or tried to make any moves on you. So you don’t know if he’s just being sweet and close like this in a friendly way or if it’s because he likes you as more than a friend. </p>
<p>Eventually all the emotions running rampant in your mind make you tired and you drift off to sleep.</p>
<p>When you wake in the morning you feel a warm body pressed against your back and have a strong arm wrapped around you. You squint one eye open and see you’re still on Steve’s couch. He must have fallen asleep too. Somehow during the night you wound up lying next to each other. This isn’t the first time this has happened either. You like waking up next to him, but you can’t help but wish your sleep overs were for sexier reasons. But you do enjoy feeling him wrapped around you like this.</p>
<p>You sigh to yourself and go to sit up but Steve tightens his hold on you. “Are you holding me hostage on your couch?” You tease. He slowly squints both of his own eyes open and smiles at you as you look at him over your shoulder. “Sorry. Looks like we fell asleep again.” Then he loosens his hold on you allowing you to sit up.</p>
<p>You lift your arms up and stretch. When you lift your arms above your head it raises your shirt revealing some of your skin. Since you’re looking the opposite direction you don’t see Steve’s eyes gazing at you. He’s pulled from his trance when he hears your voice. “Well I guess I should go back to my own apartment now.”</p>
<p>“Do you have plans today?” Steve blurts out.</p>
<p>You turn and face him as you wipe the sleep from your eyes which makes his smile from how adorable he thinks you look. “No of course not. Why?” He diverts his eyes and bites his lip. You wish you could bite that lip of his. Seriously, your dirty thoughts about him are starting to get out of hand. </p>
<p>“I know Natasha was just teasing me the other day about the whole Smithsonian thing, but I was actually thinking of going. Would you want to go with me?”</p>
<p>Like you would say no to spending any time with this man. “You want to go see your own exhibit? Won’t you be bombarded with fans once you're spotted?”</p>
<p>He smiles and shrugs his shoulders. “I planned on wearing a disguise, or at least make myself less noticeable.” You smirk at him. “Well you can try at least, right? When do we leave?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Steve’s disguise for your little trip is just a jacket and a baseball cap. But to be fair he does just look like a regular guy if you glance at him. When you enter the exhibit the first thing you see is a life size photo of a very tiny pre-serum Steve Rogers. “You’re so adorable. I could just carry you around in my pocket cause you were so tiny.” You tease. Steve rolls his eyes at you playfully. “Ha ha very funny doll.”</p>
<p>The exhibit for the Howling Commandos was crowded so you passed it and decided to come back to it later. The next one is dedicated entirely to Bucky. You see Steve get a sullen look on his face. You loop your arm through Steve’s and give his arm a squeeze. “So that’s Bucky huh? I’ve only ever seen his army photo. No wonder all the girls wanted him, look at that pretty face.” Steve gives you a look, but you just smile back at him. “What? He has a very pretty face. How about you tell me about him? You don’t talk about him much, but I know you miss him.”</p>
<p>He finally gives you a small smile. “Yeah I do miss him. Back then even when I had nothing I at least always had Bucky. I suppose I could tell you about some of the mischief we’d get into.” You fake gasp and put a hand over your mouth. “Steve Rogers? Get into mischief? Oh do tell.”</p>
<p>It doesn’t take long before you’re both laughing almost hysterically as he tells you ridiculous stories of him and Bucky. Now you wish you could have met him yourself. Your laughter though starts to draw attention and you see a young boy's eyes go wide when he lays eyes on Steve. Steve though doesn’t panic. He just gives him a smile and holds a finger to his lips, silently telling the boy not to say anything. The little boy just slowly nods his head in response as he looks awstricken at Steve.</p>
<p>Steve then surprises you and grabs a hold of your hand, lacing his fingers with yours. “Come on doll, we better get out of here before anyone else spots me.” It takes a moment for your mind to catch up with what he said because you are so focused on his hand holding yours. “Um...yeah you’re probably right. But I want more stories on the ride home.”</p>
<p>He bites his lip and nods his head at you. “Anything for you doll.”</p>
<p>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Bucky will finally make his entrance in the next chapter in case you're wondering.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p>
<p>CHAPTER 3</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You are glaring so intensely at Clint you think you might bore holes through him. He’s glaring back at you just as hard. You’re in the cafeteria at Shield Headquarters and you sat down across from Clint without a word and just glared at him. You’re still annoyed with him for laughing at you over your lost bet with Brock. So Clint took that as a challenge because the two of you are ridiculous like that, and he started glaring back. Now neither of you want to let up and you’re waiting for the other to crack or break eye contact. You can see in your peripheral that there’s people staring at the two of you, but you’re sure none of them are surprised. The two of you can turn anything into a contest. </p>
<p>Your phone starts going off, but your stare doesn’t waver. Clint smirks thinking that’s going to get you to look away. No such luck for him though, because you don’t even flinch. Then his phone starts going off so you smirk back at him when you see his fingers twitching. He’s probably wondering if it's his wife. No one knows he’s married and has children except you, Nat, and Director Fury. He wants to keep his family a secret for their safety which you can’t blame him for being cautious.</p>
<p>“You know you better answer that Barton. Might be important.” You say smugly.</p>
<p>“Oh yeah? What about you? I bet Fury is sending you on a mission. He’ll have your ass if you don’t answer him.”</p>
<p>You shrug your shoulders. “Not the first time I’ve been in trouble with the boss, and certainly won’t be the last.”</p>
<p>Clint’s phone starts going off again and he lets out an annoyed growl. “Ugh! You win this time.” When he answers his phone you can’t help but laugh when you find out who it is. “Seriously Nat? You just made me lose. Yeah she’s sitting across from me, we were busy. Yeah, yeah I’ll tell her.” Then he hangs up without saying goodbye and slams his phone down. “Nat says answer your phone.” He says grumpily.</p>
<p>As you’re laughing you check your phone. Yep you do have a mission. You pat Clint on the shoulder when you get up. “Not so fun when you’re the one being laughed at huh Barton?” You tease and then walk away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When you board the Quinjet Steve and Nat are already there. Steve gives you a strange look that you aren't quite sure how to decipher. But you don’t have time to question him at the moment because you have to start getting your gear ready. </p>
<p>“Do I dare ask what you and Barton were so busy doing?” Nat asks sarcastically.</p>
<p>You roll your eyes at her. “You make it sound dirty when you say it like that. We were in the midst of a glaring contest. I won thanks to you. Otherwise that probably would have gone on for a while.”</p>
<p>Now it's her turn to roll her eyes at you. “You two are so embarrassingly ridiculous and you’re my only friends. So what does that say about me?” </p>
<p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about, we are awesome and you know it.”</p>
<p>She scoffs as she passes you by to go get her own gear on the other side of the jet. Steve finally approaches you but he looks awkward and fidgety. He clears his throat and puts his hands on his hips as he casts his eyes down. “So I guess we won’t be hanging out Friday night?”</p>
<p>You frown at him. “What? Why? You have plans?”</p>
<p>He cocks his head to the side and raises his eyes to meet yours. “No of course not. But you do. Don’t you have a date?” You groan dramatically. You were so traumatized from that you completely blocked it out. “I totally forgot. How did you even hear about that?”</p>
<p>“Clint told Nat. Nat told me.”</p>
<p>“Of course he did. That dirty little fucking bird. I’m going to slap him upside the head for that. I’m sorry Steve it just kind of happened. It’s just one night.” He nods his head and casts his eyes down. He opens his mouth to say something but get interrupted by Nat when she returns. </p>
<p>“Oh Steve, what about that girl in accounting? Laura? Lily? What’s her name?”</p>
<p>Steve gives you one last glance and then turns back to Nat. “Lillian? The one with the lip piercing?”</p>
<p>“Yeah her. She’s cute.”</p>
<p>Steve lets out an annoyed sigh and starts walking away. “Yeah, I’m not ready for that.” You feel like that last sentence had a double meaning. But you’re just relieved he said no to Nat yet again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Much to your dismay Friday night eventually comes. Nat just showed up, said she was going to help you get ready for your date. You look at her like she’s crazy. “You know this date isn’t because I agreed willingly right? I lost a stupid fucking bet. Or did Clint conveniently leave that part out?”</p>
<p>She brushes past you and walks over to your closet and starts digging through your wardrobe. “It took him a while to get through the story because he kept bursting into laughter. But yeah eventually I got the whole story.” You flop back on your bed and groan. Stupid Clint. “Wait that still doesn’t explain why you’re here. You know I can’t stand Brock.”</p>
<p>She steps out of your closet with a black dress in her hand. “Yes I’m aware. But when’s the last time you got laid? You spend all your free time with old man Rogers. You’re so tightly wound I think you just need to get a piece.” Your jaw drops at her words. Is she seriously insinuating that you fuck Brock? Sure he’s attractive, but his personality is repulsive. “I’m not fucking Brock Rumlow. That’ll just make him paw at me even more than he does now.”</p>
<p>“So it’s been a while, but not long enough to make you desperate? Come on he’s hot. Just tape his mouth shut or tell him you like it kinky and tie him to the bed with a gag in his mouth.”</p>
<p>“Oh god, I think I just puked in my mouth a little”</p>
<p>She rolls her eyes at you. “Stop being dramatic. He’s like the perfect one night stand and you know it.” You narrow your eyes at her. “Oh yeah, why don’t you fuck him then? I know you’re not getting any, because you’ve been busy pining over Bruce Banner.”</p>
<p>She lets out a growl. “Seriously? For someone that's so secretive Clint sure has a big fucking mouth. And I’m not the one that’s wound up so tight my ass could turn coal into diamonds. So no I don’t want to fuck Brock. He’s all yours.”</p>
<p>After you repeatedly yell at Nat for the millionth time that you’re not banging Brock you eventually get dressed to get this fucking night overwith. Nat practically shoves you out the door and you of course run into Steve in the hallway. Like literally smack into him when you walk...or get shoved out the door. </p>
<p>He looks you up and down. Again he has the strange look on his face that you aren’t sure how to decipher. “You look beautiful doll.” He says as he continues gazing at you. You bite your lip and feel your cheeks heating up. “Thanks Steve.”</p>
<p>Nat ruins the moment by giving you another nudge. “Go on, get out of here. You’re going to be late.” You turn and glare at her. She is so pissing you off right now. Sure she thinks she’s helping a friend out, but she’s still driving you crazy. You throw her one last glare and turn back to Steve. “Well um...I better go get this over with. I’ll see you tomorrow though right?”</p>
<p>“Yeah of course doll.” He says it sincerely but he has this sadness in his voice. Well this is your first night off with him that you’re missing. So maybe he’s just sad about being alone tonight?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Your date with Brock went exactly how you thought it would. He was a disgusting pig that just kept trying to get into your pants. You did have a very very brief moment where you thought about just getting one lay out of him like Nat said. But the second his hand touched your face it made your skin crawl. He’s not the one you want touching you. It just feels completely wrong and you can’t help but picture Steve. So the night ended with you slapping him across the face and heading home early. </p>
<p>The rest of the weekend was spent with Steve like normal. He never asked you about your date and you never brought it up. Everything seemed fine.</p>
<p>Monday morning Steve enters the Triskelion and hears a commotion and sees a crowd of people heading towards the yelling. As he rounds the corner he realizes it's your voice he hears yelling. When he finally lays eyes on you he sees you cocking your arm back and your fist connecting with Brock Rumlow’s face. He stumbles back so you lunge at him knocking him onto the ground. You jump on top of him and grab Brock by the shirt collar and go to punch him again but strong arms lift you and start pulling you away. “I wasn’t done yet!” You scream without even looking at who pulled you away.</p>
<p>“Doll calm down. What’s going on?” You finally look over your shoulder instead of glaring daggers at Brock who picked himself up off the ground. “Steve?” He gives you a small smile as he looks at your red knuckles so you turn around to fully face him. “That was a good hit, but what did he do to make you so angry? You aren’t one to lose your cool like that.” </p>
<p>You let out a low growl and make another fist. “I was finally fed up with his shit. He came out of nowhere and pinned me against the wall. I didn’t appreciate his grimy hands on me or the disgusting things he was saying about me. So I snapped.”</p>
<p>Steve throws Brock a glare himself and then his eyes soften when he looks back at you. “Well sounds like he had it coming then. He shouldn’t be putting his hands on you. Let’s go put some ice on this hand before it starts swelling.”</p>
<p>Brock stopped hitting on you after that day. You thoroughly bruised his ego by beating his ass in front of everyone. Word quickly got around that a girl whooped his ass. So he started spreading rumors about you in retaliation. Saying how slutty and easy you were. Steve demanded that Fury keep you and Brock on separate missions after that. </p>
<p>So the next few weeks went by as normal until one day a single sentence out of Steve’s mouth practically killed you. You walk into Steve’s apartment on Friday night with movies in hand. You decided you’re going to finally tell him how you feel tonight. You’re tired of tiptoeing around this so you’re finally just going to throw it all out there and hope for the best. </p>
<p>“I don’t smell any popcorn.” You tease as you walk through his apartment. Steve walks out of his room wearing nice slacks and a button up shirt. You give him a confused look. He looks handsome all dressed up, and you’d love to just tear that button up shirt open hearing buttons fly everywhere. But why is he dressed up for movie night?</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry doll I thought I told you I had plans tonight.”</p>
<p>“What kind of plans?” You ask cautiously. </p>
<p>“I have a date with Sharon Carter tonight.”</p>
<p>That one sentence shattered your heart into a million pieces. That’s the day Steve Rogers broke your heart. Message received, he’s made it pretty clear that he doesn’t have feelings for you like you do for him.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I'm kind of just breezing through the events of CATWS with this chapter because I didn't want to spend a whole lot of time on it. Only what's pertinent to the story to set up the plot.</p><p>After this chapter the focus will be more on Bucky and his recovery and of course the developing relationship with the reader.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>CHAPTER 4</p><p> </p><p>Your life certainly took a drastic change in just a matter of days. One day you’re about to confess your love to your closest friend, then he shatters your heart to a million pieces by dating a woman you can’t fucking stand. Fuck you Sharon Carter. Then the next, there’s shots fired in Steve’s apartment. The Winter Soldier shot Director Fury but not before he told Steve Shield was compromised. Shield is Hydra.</p><p>Sitting in an underground bunker you look back and wonder how you’ve been working for Hydra all along and had no idea. Now you at least know your gut feelings about Brock were correct because he's part of Hydra. Shield has been relentlessly coming after Steve, Nat and you. Trying to kill all three of you because you discovered Shield has been infiltrated by Hydra since the beginning, growing like a goddamn parasite. Steve’s sacrifice 70 some years ago was for nothing. Which he seems to be taking surprisingly well.</p><p>What he’s not taking well is finding out his best friend is alive. Sergeant James Barnes is very much alive. Hydra captured him, brainwashed and experimented on him, and turned him into a deadly weapon. A super soldier assassin. He tried killing all three of you, plus Sam Wilson who said he wanted to help. Bucky shot Nat, luckily it was only in the shoulder. A doctor is patching her up right now.</p><p>Steve’s arguing with Director Fury right now about taking down Shield. Fury faked his death after Bucky shot him several times. He’s been recovering in this bunker while he tried to figure out who to trust. Steve wants to take down Shield, Fury wants to salvage it.</p><p>Tomorrow morning Shield is launching three helicarriers that are basically armed weapons of mass destruction linked to satellites. They are going to kill millions of people. “I’m with Steve. I think we all are. Shield’s beyond saving.” You blurt out suddenly.</p><p>“Shield. Hydra. It all goes.” Steve says to Fury, not leaving anymore room for argument.</p><p>Fury sighs and leans back in his chair. “Okay Cap. Looks like you’re giving the orders now.”</p><p>Sam steps next to Steve with his arms crossed. “What about Barnes? He’s gonna be there you know? Whoever he used to be and who he is now, I don’t think he’s the kind you save. He’s the kind you stop.”</p><p>“I don’t think I can do that.” Steve says with a sullen look on his face. You know he’s hurting bad right now. He’s blaming himself for not going back and looking for Bucky when he fell off that train in 1945.</p><p>Sam shakes his head. “He may not give you a choice.”</p><p>You decide to step in because Steve has enough weight on his shoulders right now. “Sam stop. It’s Steve’s call. If he says we save Bucky then we save Bucky. We will stop him but without killing him. Captain’s orders, got it?”</p><p>Steve gives you a thankful look. Sam holds his hands up like he's surrendering. "Okay, understood."</p><p> </p><p>Turns out your words were easier said than done. The next morning you all effectively take down Shield. You and Nat with the help of Director Fury leaked all of Shield’s and Hydra’s files online. Leaving no room for doubt that Hydra never died with the Red Skull. While you and Nat were working inside Shield Headquarters, Steve and Sam were taking down the helicarriers. They had to switch out microchips in each one so they target and destroy each other instead of people.</p><p>Once you finish inside you get into a helicopter with Nat and Fury. Steve’s on the third and final helicarrier and you can hear him through your comm pleading with Bucky. He doesn’t want to hurt his friend but he can’t let innocent people die either. Bucky apparently damaged Sam’s Falcon suit so Steve’s all by himself. You tune out everything around you and only focus on what you’re hearing through the comm.</p><p>They start fighting so you wait with baited breath hoping Steve can stop him in time. When you hear Steve say <em>“Charlie locked.”</em> Through the comm you release the breath you were holding. That means he got the third chip in place. But you released that breath too soon. Because you suddenly hear gunfire and Steve’s breathing becomes labored. “Steve?! Steve are you alright?” You start screaming for him frantically. But he doesn’t answer you. You hear him tell Maria Hill who was standing by waiting for the signal to fire now. Meaning for the helicarriers to start shooting at each other but you know he’s still inside one.</p><p>“Nat we gotta get him out of there. He’s been shot.”</p><p>“I know okay. Calm down. We gotta pick up Sam first. He’s fighting with Rumlow on the 41st floor and a helicarrier is headed right towards it. Then we’ll get a location on Steve.”</p><p>While they rescue Sam you listen to Steve trying to remind Bucky of who he really is. <em>“Your name is James Buchanan Barnes. You’ve known me your whole life. I’m not gonna fight you. You’re my friend.</em>”</p><p><em>“You’re my mission.”</em> Bucky says coldly.</p><p>
  <em>“Then finish it. Because I’m with you to the end of the line.”</em>
</p><p>That’s the last thing you hear Steve say before his comm goes out. You have tears welling in your eyes as you hear an explosion. When the helicopter finally nears the helicarrier Steve is in you see a body falling into the water below. You start panicking more and screaming at Fury to get closer so you can get out. Then you see a second body drop from the helicarrier. Bucky jumped out of the helicarrier.</p><p>Fury lowers the helicopter above the edge of land not far from where Steve fell. You, Nat, and Sam have to use ropes to drop down to the land below. The three of you split up and go running in search of Steve and Bucky. You run through some trees just in time to see Bucky dragging Steve out of the water and dropping him on the ground. Steve groans and spits out some water so you know he’s still alive.</p><p>You turn your comm back on so Nat and Sam can hear you. You pull your gun out of your holster and aim it at Bucky. “I can’t let you leave Bucky. Steve says you need help, so we’re gonna get you some help.”</p><p>He gives you a cold stare and doesn’t respond as he takes a couple steps closer. You decide to try Russian since you heard him speaking in Russian the first time he tried killing all of you. Nat taught you Russian a long time ago thankfully.</p><p>“Ruki, gde ya vizhu ikh soldat”<br/><em>(Hands where I can see them soldier)</em></p><p>“Ty ne zastrelish' menya”<br/><em>(You won’t shoot me)</em></p><p>His response is so emotionless and cold. You glance at your friend and see him lying there bleeding. Your emotions get the best of you and you cock your gun. “Ty uveren v etom?”<em> (You sure about that?)</em></p><p>He takes a single step and you open fire. But he blocks each bullet with his metal hand. Nat suddenly appears next to you and throws a device she had in her pocket. It clings to his metal arm, sparks, and shorts out his arm so he can’t move it. The two of you charge at him. Nat distracts him from the front while you run behind him and jump on his shoulders putting him in a choke hold. With his left arm immobilized and Nat continuing to come at him he can’t get you off him and he eventually passes out. You fall down with him so Nat rolls him over so you can get up. As you climb back to your feet you finally see Sam running toward all of you. “Sam's coming. You two take care of him. I got Steve.”</p><p>You don’t wait for her response as you run over to Steve. He’s been shot a few times. You can tell one in the leg and one in the stomach right away. “Someone get an ambulance here now. Steve’s bleeding out.” You put your hand on Steve’s face and the other on his stomach to apply pressure to the wound. He groans out in pain. “(Y/N)?”</p><p>“Yeah Steve, it’s me. Stay with me. We’re getting you help okay.”</p><p>“Bucky?”</p><p>Of course he’s dying and he’s worried about his former friend that just tried to kill him. But that’s the man you fell in love with. So you shouldn’t be surprised. “Me and Nat got him. He’s fine. Let’s worry about you right now. You’re in a lot worse shape.”</p><p>“Thank you.” He whispers just before he finally falls unconscious.</p><p> </p><p>Steve stays unconscious in the hospital for two days. The moment he was out of surgery you were at his side. You haven’t left his room for even a second. You know what you find interesting? Sharon Carter has yet to show her stupid face. Goes to show how much she cares about him. You had hoped and prayed that she was secretly a Hydra agent so you could be rid of her, but no such luck. She's been a loyal Shield agent trying to follow in her aunt's footsteps. There’s no way she loves him even remotely the way you do though. You just wish he could see that.</p><p> </p><p>You’re curled up in a chair next to Steve’s bed. The exact spot you’ve been living and sleeping in the last two days. When you feel fingertips brushing over the back of your hand you squint one eye open. You see tired blue eyes looking back at you. You bolt upright and your eyes light up. “Steve! Oh thank god. You have no idea how happy I am to see you awake.”</p><p>“Sorry for scaring you doll. How long have I been out?” His voice is quiet and raspy from not being used for a couple days.</p><p>“Two incredibly long days. Never do this again.”</p><p>He gives you a small smile. “Yes ma’am. I’ll do my best. What about Bucky?”</p><p>You have mixed feelings about Bucky. Yes he used to be a good man. What happened to him isn’t his fault. But he almost killed Steve and you want to kick his ass again for it. “Nat and I managed to take him down together and I knocked him out. Then Nat made a call to Tony Stark I guess. He was able to get him a private room at a maximum security mental health facility in New York. Last I heard though he hasn't completely snapped out of Winter Soldier mode yet. He's getting help, it's a good start at least."</p><p>"Good. That's good. Any charges been brought up against him?"</p><p>"There's been talk and speculation on the news. So according to Nat, Tony said he'd also get him a lawyer. Shouldn't be too hard to prove he wasn't a willing participant." Steve just nods his head in response. You bite your lip nervously. He still has his hand on yours so you flip your hand over to hold his hand. "So...I'm assuming you'll be leaving Washington D.C. and going back to New York?"</p><p>He looks down at your joined hands and smiles. He raises his eyes to meet yours and nods his head. His response makes your chest hurt. The thought of him moving away and not being right next to you hurts your already broken heart. His quiet voice pulls you from your inner turmoil. "Come with me."</p><p>You give him a confused look. "Huh?"</p><p>He smiles at you and squeezes your hand. "Come with me. Tony has an entire floor at the Tower for the Avengers. There's plenty of room for you."</p><p>"But I'm not an Avenger." You blurt out.</p><p>"You are if I say you are. Do you want to be? I think you have more than proven yourself capable."</p><p>You look away from him and anxiously fidget with your fingers. "Shouldn't adding a new team member be a team decision? What if you're the only one that thinks that?"</p><p>"Doll look at me please. Half the team already loves you. I know Clint and Natasha would readily agree with me. I know Tony and Bruce will love you too. And Thor splits his time between Asgard and New York, but you'll easily get along with him whenever you finally meet him. With Shield gone is there anything or...anyone tying you to Washington D.C.? Any reason to stay?"</p><p>You shake your head and take a deep breath. "No, sounds like all the people I care about are leaving. So I have no reason to stay."</p><p>Steve's face lights up with a bright smile that just makes you melt like butter. "Well doll, looks like you're an Avenger now."</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Some fluff with Bucky</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>CHAPTER 5</p><p> </p><p>Looking out your bedroom window that overlooks New York in the Avengers Tower you still find it hard to believe that you're here. Just like Steve said, all the Avengers welcomed you with open arms. Sam came along also, so it's kind of nice not being the only new recruit.</p><p>With Shield gone the Avengers had to pick up the slack. Looking for any Hydra agents that got away and just keeping the world safe in general. Do what Shield should have been doing all along.</p><p>So when you're not out on missions you're with Steve. He visits Bucky any day that he has free. You go with him but you don't actually go in and see Bucky. You're more there as moral support for Steve. He says Bucky has stopped being violent finally and he's slowly gaining his memories back.</p><p>Today though when you leave the facility with Steve he's quieter than usual. You wonder if Bucky was having a bad day. "Steve? You alright?"</p><p>He just shakes his head at first. You’re not sure if it’s in response to you or if he’s just shaking his head at himself. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I was just thinking. Doll can I ask you something?"</p><p>"Of course you can. You know that. What's up?"</p><p>He stays quiet for a minute which makes you worry. What could he possibly be afraid to talk to you about? He takes a deep breath and turns his head back toward you. "I eventually want to get Bucky out of that place. But to do that he needs to interact with people other than me and the staff. Would you mind just talking to him a little?"</p><p>Oh now you know why he was hesitant to ask you. He knows you're still upset about Bucky shooting and almost killing him. You take a chance and look at Steve. Dammit. He's using his sad puppy eyes. You let out a deep sigh. "Does he remember I shot at him, kicked his ass with Nat and knocked him out? Does he hold a grudge about that at all?"</p><p>Steve chuckles at you. "He remembers. He actually wants to meet the woman that kicked his ass he says. I've talked about you a lot. You helped me after I was found. Maybe you can help him too."</p><p>"Yeah but Steve your situations are completely different. You took a 70 year nap. Bucky was...well we both know what happened to him. I wouldn't even know where to begin with him."</p><p>"Just have a conversation? See how it goes?" Steve says with a hint of hope.</p><p>Well shit. You know you don’t have the willpower to tell him no. "Okay. I'll do it for you."</p><p>His face lights up with that heart melting smile of his. "You are the best. Seriously. I don't know what I'd do without you."</p><p><em>Oh yeah, then why are you still dating Sharon Carter?</em> You think begrudgingly to yourself. After Shield fell she joined the CIA. You thought your prayers had finally been answered and she’d be stationed far, far away. But no, of fucking course not. She was stationed in New York. Seriously?! You still spend more time with Steve than she does. They’ve actually been fighting a lot recently about him spending all his free time with Bucky. You would never do that. You know how important his best friend is to him. Hell you’re mad at the guy and you still agreed to go talk to him for Steve.</p><p>Even though Steve keeps unknowingly shattering your heart you just can’t help how you feel about him. Maybe he’ll come around eventually and see how much you truly love him. If you put your romantic feelings aside he’s still basically your best friend. So if nothing ever comes of the two of you then you still want his friendship. You can’t imagine not having him in your life.</p><p> </p><p>The next day you go with Steve to see Bucky like you agreed. Steve goes and visits with him first. Probably to give him a pep talk or something. You have no idea what to even say to Bucky. You know your anger towards him is irrational. But the image of Steve lying on the ground almost bleeding to death keeps popping into your mind.</p><p>After about 20 minutes Steve comes out giving you thumbs up. “He’s ready if you are doll.” You nod your head and take a deep breath. Steve can tell you're nervous so he puts both of his hands on your face. “Thank you for doing this. It really means a lot to me. You are honestly the only person I trust to do this.”</p><p>“Really?” His words almost make you want to cry.</p><p>He smiles at your surprised face. “Really. Aside from Bucky of course, you are my closest friend. I trust you with my life and my best friend’s. So thank you for always being there when I need you. I know I owe you big for this.”</p><p>Why oh why does he have to be so sweet and perfect, and say heart warming things like that. You want to kiss him so badly right now. “You don’t owe me anything Steve. That’s what friends do, help each other out.” Steve removes his hands from your face and pulls you into a tight hug. You love the feeling of being wrapped up in his arms with your face against his chest. You wish you could just stay like this. But of course the hug ends sooner than you wanted it to. He tells you thank you once more and then you head toward the visitor room Bucky is in.</p><p>A security guard unlocks the door and lets you in. You slowly walk inside and take a look around. It’s not a very warm or welcoming room. You can see why Steve doesn’t want to keep him here. It looks more like a prison cell with a table and a chair bolted to the ground in the middle of the room. Bucky is sitting in the chair facing you. They took his metal arm off when he got here because he was so violent and he can do a lot of damage with it.</p><p>The two of you make eye contact but don’t say anything. You stay near the door, not quite ready to sit down yet. There’s an overhead light above him so it illuminates his face and makes his eyes stand out. He does have very beautiful blue eyes. But he has that cold emotionless look on his face right now. He eventually decides to break the heavy silence first. “Look I know this is Steve’s terrible idea. I know you don’t want to be here. So we can just pretend we talked and Steve won’t know the difference.”</p><p>Your shoulders slump at his words. Now you feel bad. “I’ve never lied to Steve before so I’m certainly not going to start now. I just don’t know what to say.”</p><p>He nods his head and looks down at the table. “Well for starters you can sit down. I promise I won’t bite. Besides you kicked my ass once, I’m sure you can do it again.” He says the last part with a small smile which completely changes his face. He looks so much more handsome when he smiles.</p><p>You can’t help but smile also as you finally walk across the room and sit in the chair across from him. “Well it wasn’t just me. It took two of us. I had Natasha helping me. I’d apologize for that, but then I’d be lying. And as I already said, I don’t like to do that.” He keeps the small smile on his face. “Well I appreciate your honesty then. I'm sorry for a lot of things. But I am very sorry for everything that happened that day.”</p><p>You slowly extend your arm across the table. “I’m (Y/N), it’s good to finally meet the real you.” He follows suit and slowly slides his hand across the table, gently taking hold of yours. “Bucky. Nice to finally meet you too. Steve talks about you all the time. He says you helped him through a lot.”</p><p>You slowly pull your hand away and just nod your head. “He seems to think I can help you too. But I tried telling him your situations are completely different.”</p><p>Bucky scoffs. “Yeah he got a 70 year nap. I would have loved to have that option instead.”</p><p>You snort out a laugh which makes his smile bigger. “That’s exactly what I told him. But I still promised him I’d try. Not sure how much help I’m going to be though.”</p><p>He shrugs his shoulders and looks back down at the table. He gets an almost shy smile on his face. “I don’t know. I think we’re off to a good start at least. Don’t you?”</p><p>“Yeah I guess you’re right. Far better than I was expecting.”</p><p>Before you know it a half hour flies by. The security guard knocks on the door letting you know time is almost up, visiting hours will be over soon. Bucky’s face falls the moment he hears the first knock. You check your watch. “Wow it’s already been a half hour. Looks like I better get going. I’m sure Steve’s pacing the lobby like the nervous mother hen that he is wondering how this is going.”</p><p>Bucky chuckles which almost puts you in shock. That’s the first time you’ve heard anything close to a laugh come from him. “Yeah that sounds like Steve. Better not keep him waiting doll.” His eyes go wide when he realizes he called you doll. You bite the inside of your cheek to force yourself not to laugh. “I’m sorry that just kind of came out.”</p><p>“Bucky calm down. It’s fine. Steve says it all the time. I know it’s just how you two talk, it’s the era you’re from. I’ve always found Steve’s old fashioned personality endearing. I don’t let him feel embarrassed for it, so I won’t let you either.”</p><p>You see him visibly relax and he releases the breath he was holding. “Thank you. Hey...um...before you go. I was wondering...will you come back again?”</p><p>He’s kind of adorable when he’s nervous. It’s hard to believe the man in front of you was a ruthless assassin just weeks ago and tried to kill you. He’s a completely different person. “Would you like me to?”</p><p>“I mean...yeah if you don’t mind.”</p><p>“I don’t mind at all Bucky. I’ll see you the next time I bring Steve in.”</p><p>He gives you a small sad smile and waves as you walk to the door. When you get back to the lobby just as you suspected Steve was pacing around nervously. Looks like he was driving the receptionist crazy because she gets a relieved look on her face when he stops and heads towards you. “Well? How did it go?” You grab his arm and loop yours through his and pull him along with you. “Come on, let's walk and talk. I think the receptionist wants you to go away.” You tease. “It went far better than I expected. He asked me if I would come back again.”</p><p>“That’s great! Will you? I mean, will you talk to him again?”</p><p>You chuckle at Steve. “You really need to calm down my friend. Yes, I told him I would see him the next time I brought you in.” Steve abruptly stops and pulls you into an almost bone crushing hug. Good thing he’s aware of his strength because he could have easily crushed you. “Thank you (Y/N). Thank you so much.”</p><p>As he’s holding you tightly in his arms for the second time today you can’t help but petulantly think, <em>Suck on that Sharon Carter</em>. You don’t see Steve asking her to visit Bucky or holding her like this. Yes you have issues, you’re aware.</p><p> </p><p>Over the next several weeks each time Steve goes to see Bucky you go see him also. Sometimes separately or sometimes together. Just depends on how Bucky’s feeling. Eventually you even start going to see Bucky on your own. When Steve’s out on a mission for days or weeks at a time you felt bad about the thought of Bucky being alone that entire time so you started going on your own. It was worth it the first time his face lit up when you told him that.</p><p>One day when you did go with Steve you decided to visit him separately. When it’s your turn to go in Bucky looks upset. Which confuses you because Steve never mentioned their visit not going well. “Hey Bucky, what’s with the face? Bad day?”</p><p>He sighs and shakes his head. “No, not exactly. Steve wanted to talk about getting me out of here.”</p><p>“Okay...why do you look so unhappy about it?”</p><p>He keeps his eyes cast down on the table and taps his fingers nervously. When he doesn’t say anything you lean forward on the table and tilt your head to try and look him in the eyes. “Bucky if you don’t want to talk today that’s okay. Just say so, and I can leave. We can talk another day.”</p><p>That gets him to quickly raise his eyes. “No please don’t leave.” The words come out rushed like if he didn’t get them out fast enough you’d already be out the door. “Okay. I won’t leave. But I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me about what’s going on in that head of yours.”</p><p>He takes a couple deep breaths and looks back down at the table. “Steve wants me to move into the Avengers Tower with him. I don’t think I belong there.” You knew Steve planned on bringing that up to him soon, you just didn’t think it was going to be this soon. “Okay, where do you think you belong then?”</p><p>He shrugs his shoulders. “Here?” He whispers quietly.</p><p>“Can I tell you what I think?” He hesitantly tears his eyes from the table and looks at you. He silently answers you by nodding his head. “Well I think you just want to punish yourself by staying in here. You think you deserve it. But Steve and me both think you deserve a second chance. Your life was unfairly stolen from you. You deserve to take it back and get a chance to live. You’ve been getting better each day. When you’re ready to leave here why not stay in the Tower amongst friends while you try to figure out what you want to do with your life?”</p><p>“What if no one wants me there?”</p><p>“I said something similar to Steve when he asked me to leave Washington D.C. and come to New York with him. I said what if he was the only one that actually wanted me there? Change is scary. But he persuaded me, and you know what I was scared for nothing. Everyone there welcomed me with open arms. It’s the best decision I ever made. And the room they have ready for you is just across the hall from me. So you’ll have a friend right next door."</p><p>His eyes look glossy as he looks back at you. "We're friends?"</p><p>Oh he just breaks your heart when he talks like that. "Well I certainly thought we had reached friendship status. Am I mistaken? Do I need to pass a test first?" You tease to lighten the mood.</p><p>"Of course not doll. It would make me very happy to call you my friend. And I'll give Steve's offer some serious thought. That fair?"</p><p>You smile at him and reach across the table putting your hand over his. "It's a good start Bucky."</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
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</p><p> </p><p>CHAPTER 6</p><p> </p><p>The sound out loud screaming wakes you in the middle of the night. You startle at first but you quickly realize who it is. Poor Bucky keeps having nightmares. Your room is closest to his so you are the one that hears him.</p><p>Steve offered to trade rooms with you but you know that would just make Bucky feel guilty and delve further into his self loathing so you told Steve no. But now you have to go wake Steve up. You've tried calling or texting him before but he forgets to charge his phone or even turn it on sometimes. You don't go into Bucky's room yourself because you don't want to invade his personal space.</p><p>You roll out of bed and leave your bedroom. Bucky's screams are even louder now. He sounds terrified. So you hurry around the corner to the next hallway into Steve's room. He leaves his room unlocked for you at night now. You've made this trip so many times you can walk through his room in complete darkness and not walk into anything.</p><p>When you get to his bed you lean one knee on it and put a hand on his shoulder to gently shake him. "Steve. Steve wake up."</p><p>He groans as he rolls over. "I'm up. I'm coming."</p><p>"This one sounds really bad tonight Steve."</p><p>He climbs out of bed and throws his arm over your shoulder as he walks out of his bedroom with you. "I'll take care of him doll. You just try and get some sleep."</p><p>"I know I just wish I could help him."</p><p>"You help him everyday just by being his friend. You do plenty. I got this, so go on back to bed." He kisses your forehead and takes off to Bucky's room. If you weren't so dead tired you might have enjoyed that kiss more.</p><p>There's another reason you don't go into Bucky's room. Him and Steve are afraid if you startle him he might accidentally hurt you. Steve can at least counter Bucky's strength.</p><p> </p><p>Bucky stayed in that mental health facility for 6 months. He could have left sooner but he refused to leave until the trigger words Hydra planted in him could be removed. You aren't sure how exactly but Tony and Bruce figured out a way to do it. Even once the trigger words were dealt with he was still hesitant to move into the Tower. Eventually he caved for Steve and agreed to move in. He's been in the Tower about two months now.</p><p>Everyone has been kind and welcoming to him. Even Nat who he shot and also tried to kill. She’s pretty understanding about the whole brainwashing thing considering her own upbringing. But Bucky still feels out of place and tends to hibernate in his room until Steve makes him come out. He'll sit and talk with you if you're alone, but if you're with anyone else he just stays quiet. You understand this is all a huge adjustment for him so you have to keep reminding Steve not to push Bucky too hard when it comes to social interactions. He wasn't treated like a person for 70 years. It's going to take some time.</p><p> </p><p>You sit at the kitchen counter hunched over, nursing your third cup of coffee. Nat walks in and sees you with your eyes barely open. “Barnes again?” You force yourself to sit upright and rub your eyes as if that’s going to help keep them open. “It’s not his fault Nat. I would think there was something wrong with him if he wasn’t traumatized after everything he’s been through.”</p><p>She leans on the other side of the counter across from you. “I agree, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need sleep too. You can stay in my room for a night if you need too. I’m about to leave with Clint for a mission so it’ll be empty.”</p><p>You yawn and nod your head. “Yeah okay, I’ll think about it. Thanks Nat.” You can see something in the corner of your eye so you turn your head and see a very sad looking Bucky. Shit. He diverts his eyes away from you and turns around, likely heading back to his room. You’ve been keeping your lack of sleep to yourself, not wanting Bucky to feel bad about it. Too late for that now.</p><p>You take off after Bucky calling his name but he just keeps walking. “Bucky wait. Please talk to me.” He gets to his room and slams the door shut. He knows you won’t follow him in there. You could easily get into his room, but that’s his private space so you won’t just barge in there uninvited. You lean against the door and try talking to him some more. “Bucky please. You haven’t done anything wrong. So I’m a little tired, no big deal. It’s really not your fault. Please understand that.”</p><p>Nothing. You just get silence. Dammit. You let out a defeated sigh. “Bucky just know that I’m here whenever you're ready to talk.” Steve comes walking down the hallway and sees you outside his friend’s door and gives you a questioning look. “He walked in on me and Nat talking. She was asking about my lack of sleep. He took off and holed himself up in here and won’t talk to me.”</p><p>Steve’s shoulders slump and he wipes a hand down his face. “Don’t worry doll, I’ll talk to him. But I need to talk to you about something else first. Can we talk in your room?” You nod your head and walk across the hall to your room. Once the door is shut Steve stands there nervously with his hands on his hips. “Steve what’s going on?”</p><p>“Well I’m torn on what to do about something. We got a possible lead on Rumlow. Most of the team is already out on separate missions. I don’t want to leave Bucky for obvious reasons. And don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t want to send you out on this mission either. Rumlow is the one person you can’t keep your cool with.”</p><p>Oh boy, that is a dilemma. After Shield fell Brock was hurt badly when a helicarrier crashed into the Triskelion building. But he escaped from the hospital, and has been staying one step ahead ever since to keep from being captured. “Um...okay. I guess firstly I’m not offended, you’re absolutely right about Rumlow. Just hearing his name makes me angry. But if you have a lead on him you need to follow up on it. I’ll be fine with Bucky, except I don’t know what to do about the whole nightmare thing.”</p><p>“I’ll talk to him, but you might just have to let him sleep through it. I know that’s going to be hard, but sometimes he startles and takes a swing at me when I wake him up. He’ll hurt you very badly if he does that to you so I don’t want you trying to wake him up. You can sleep in my room if you need to, that way you won’t hear him.”</p><p>You’re a little disappointed in yourself right now. Because the moment Steve said you could sleep in his room you got giddy with excitement at the thought of sleeping in his bed. This is supposed to be about Bucky, not your sad pining over the super soldier that doesn’t have romantic feelings for you. “Yeah, okay Steve. Whatever you need me to do, you know I’ll do it.”</p><p>Steve smiles at you for the first time today. “I know I’ve been saying this a lot lately, but I mean it. Thank you for being you. You’re the one person I can always trust and turn to. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” You smile back at him and feel your cheeks heating up. It’s physically impossible for you not to love this man, you just wish he felt the same. “That’s what friends are for. Besides, I know you’d do the same for me.”</p><p>Steve pulls you to him for a hug. You can’t help but take in his scent and enjoy the brief moment of being held in his arms. “I would doll, I’d do anything for you.” He whispers quietly.</p><p> </p><p>Hours later your floor of the Tower is completely empty. The only people left are you and Bucky. He still hasn’t come out of his room which is starting to frustrate you, but you keep reminding yourself to be patient with him. He’s dealing with a lot of change right now. So you leave him alone, you suppose he’ll come out when he’s ready.</p><p>That night you try sleeping in Steve’s room. Oh how you just want to enjoy sleeping in his bed, even if he’s not in it. But your guilt won’t let you sleep. You feel like you just abandoned Bucky to suffer inside his nightmares. So you roll out of Steve’s bed and head back to your room. The moment you step foot in the hallway you hear Bucky screaming. Dammit.</p><p>You know you promised Steve you wouldn’t try waking Bucky up, but you can’t let him go on like this all night. Maybe you can wake him up without touching him or standing next to him. You grabbed the spare key to Bucky’s room when you were in Steve’s room. You take a deep breath as you unlock the door and slowly step inside. He’s screaming like he’s being tortured, like he’s in pain.</p><p>You stand at the foot of his bed so your aren’t within arms reach. “Bucky…Bucky...Bucky wake up!” He’s still screaming. You take another deep breath to steel your nerves. Then you put a foot on his bed and shake it as you yell his name as loud as you can. “Bucky! Wake up!”</p><p>He bolts upright in bed and swings his left arm just like Steve said he does. He’s gasping for air as he looks around. You turned a lamp on when you walked into his room so there’s enough lighting that he can see you once he orients himself. “(Y/N)?” He whispers quietly.</p><p>“Yeah, sorry Bucky. I just couldn’t leave you like that all night.”</p><p>“You shouldn’t have come in here. I could have hurt you.”</p><p>You shake your head at him. “I stayed far enough back so you wouldn’t. See I’m fine, not a scratch.” You take a step closer so he scoots back, but he’s got nowhere to go. His back is already pressed against the head of the bed. “Bucky, I know you’re having a hard time adjusting. But what you and Steve are doing isn’t helping your nightmares. He just wakes you up, talks for a while and then leaves. So if you’ll let me help you, maybe we can try something different.”</p><p>“Don’t you think I’m keeping you up enough as it is? Thank you for waking me up, but you’ve done enough.”</p><p>Okay you might have to stop playing super fluffy nice with him. Because he’s obviously going to keep refusing. You cross your arms over your chest and look at him with a raised brow. “I thought we agreed we were friends Bucky? So how about you stop being a stubborn ass and let me help you.”</p><p>He just sits there blinking his eyes like he’s not sure what to say to that. He eventually takes a deep breath and sighs. “What’s your idea?” You force yourself not to smile, because that was a tiny victory. You still have to get him to agree to your idea. You walk around the bed and stand on the side he’s not currently occupying. When you put your knee on the bed he gets an almost panicked look on his face. “What..what are you doing?”</p><p>“Just hear me out before you freak out. All those years of bad memories that are haunting you, you were completely alone. You went through it alone, and woke up alone. You had little to no human contact, and if you did it wasn’t in a kind or caring way. A little human touch can go a long way, and if you aren’t completely alone maybe you’ll stop feeling that way. Let me try sleeping next to you.”</p><p>His eyes go wide and he starts shaking his head. “No, no, no. I can’t do that. If I hurt you I’ll never forgive myself. I don’t want to take a chance like that.”</p><p>“Are you not hyper aware of your surroundings? If you know I’m already next to you, you aren’t going to wake up startled. I trust you.”</p><p>He looks away from you and casts his eyes down to the floor. “You shouldn’t, because even I don’t trust myself.” You pull your other knee onto the bed and see him stiffen even more. “Please don’t push me away. Let’s at least try just once. How do you expect to get better if you just keep punishing yourself and pushing people away? I genuinely care and want to help you. I’m not doing this for Steve anymore. I know it started out that way, but you know that changed a long time ago. I’m doing this for you.”</p><p>He slowly raises his eyes to meet yours, they’re glossy full of sadness and fear. “If my arm so much as twitches the wrong way I want you to move away as fast as possible. Understand?” A smile breaks on your face, feeling victorious. “Loud and clear.”</p><p>You lay down on your side facing Bucky. He hesitantly just sits there looking at you in disbelief. He can’t believe you trust him enough to sleep next to him. You pat his side of the bed signaling for him to lay down already. He takes a deep breath and slowly lays down. He has his body on the furthest edge of the bed so that he’s as far away from you as possible. His bed isn’t that big so it’s really not that much space.</p><p>You lift your hand, but keep your hand in the air before you touch him. You always ask first so that way he feels like he’s in control of his own body. “Can I touch you?” He clears his throat awkwardly. “Uh...okay yeah.”</p><p>Slowly you reach for his flesh hand since he’s laying on his metal hand. Gently you grab his wrist and pull his arm, resting his hand on your waist. He immediately stiffens again. “If you’re really that uncomfortable you know you’re in control and can take your hand back. But like I said a little touch can go a long way. Aside from Steve, when's the last time you just held another person?”</p><p>His eyes aren’t just glossy anymore. You can see in the dim lighting some of the tears spilling over. “Probably before I was shipped out to England for the war.”</p><p>“So like 1943?”</p><p>“Something like that.” He says barely above a whisper. You raise your hand again and hover it above his cheek. He nods his head giving you the okay without you having to ask out loud. With your thumb you wipe away the few tears that spilled over and then cup his scruffy cheek with your hand. “Is this okay, or is it too much?”</p><p>“No it’s okay.”</p><p>You smile at him and finally feel his hand that’s still on your waist relax. You start feeling sleepy again so you close your eyes. Before you drift off to sleep you hear Bucky whisper “thank you” to you.</p><p>The next time you wake up the sun is up, shining brightly through the curtains. Somehow during the night you and Bucky end up pressed against each other. Your face is smashed against his chest and he still has his arm wrapped around you. He’s extremely warm. Must be a super soldier thing, because you remember Steve being that way when you’d fall asleep with him on the couch. Bucky starts to stir and his body tenses up briefly when he realizes there's a body pressed up against him. He slowly relaxes and you feel his chin resting on top of your head. “That’s the first night I’ve slept this long, and without any nightmares. I almost hate to admit it but you were right doll.”</p><p>You smile and lean your head back so you can see his face. “And your arm didn’t so much as twitch the wrong way. I am completely unharmed. I told you I trust you.”</p><p>He smiles back at you. “Thank you for not letting me be a stubborn ass.” You snort out a laugh. “Sorry, but coddling you was getting me nowhere.”</p><p>“I’m sorry about yesterday (Y/N). I just hate feeling like I’m more trouble than I’m worth, and that I’m disrupting everyone’s lives just by being here.”</p><p>You lean up on one elbow and look him in the eyes. “Now you listen here James. Yes you’re James at the moment because I’m serious. You are not trouble, and you are a good person going through a lot right now. You are worth it. I don’t want to hear that kind of talk from you. Got it?”</p><p>He smiles at your serious face. “Yes ma’am."</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
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</p><p>CHAPTER 7</p><p> </p><p>It’s early morning Steve just returned from his mission, unsuccessful mission. Rumlow got away again. When he returned to the Tower his first stop was to go check on Bucky. He didn’t even go to his room. He assumed you were in there and would still be asleep, and didn’t want to wake you up just yet. When he enters the hallway where your and Bucky’s bedrooms are, he stops dead in his tracks when he sees you leaving Bucky’s room still half asleep. Your hair adorably messy, only wearing shorts and a tank top. “(Y/N)?” He says your name hesitantly. </p><p>You rub your eyes and finally see Steve standing near the end of the hallway. “Hey Steve. How’d the mission go?” He gives you a confused look. You walk out of Bucky’s room half dressed and that’s the first thing out of your mouth? “Um...not well. Came up empty. What were you doing in Bucky’s room?”</p><p>“Oh...uh...maybe we should talk in my room.” You don’t wait for him to respond, you just walk to your bedroom door and head inside. He follows in shortly after you. He stands there with a frown and his arms crossed over his chest as he waits for an explanation. “Okay don’t freak out or get mad at me alright? I tried sleeping in your room that first night and I just felt guilty like I was abandoning Bucky to suffer alone and couldn’t do it. So I went back to my room but he was already screaming. I went and woke him up.”</p><p>“You what?! Are you hurt?”</p><p>You suppress the urge to roll your eyes. You know he’s just worried, but you knew he was going to freak out. “No I’m fine he didn’t hurt me. I stayed far enough back that he couldn’t reach me. Anyway that’s not my point. The way you’ve been going on with him just waking him up and trying to talk it out hasn’t been working so I talked him into trying something else. I’ve slept next to him the last couple nights and he hasn’t had any nightmares.”</p><p>Steve stands there staring at you with a clenched jaw and a raised brow. What on earth is he so mad about? You are obviously fine. “You what now?” He stutters out. </p><p>“Steve, he's been alone for years and touch starved. He just needs to not feel so alone. He was hesitant and argued with me at first but I eventually convinced him to try at least once. And it’s helping him. He hasn’t had nightmares or woken up screaming the couple nights I’ve slept next to him.”</p><p>He finally uncrosses his arms and runs a hand through his hair. Well he can’t argue if it’s helping his best friend out now can he? “He hasn’t woken up violently at all? I just don’t want you to get hurt.”</p><p>You smile at him and shake your head. “No not at all. He’s a lot cuddlier than he looks. Just don’t tell him I said that.” You tease. Steve has to force himself not to frown again. </p><p> </p><p>Over the next few weeks you more often than not end up in Bucky’s room at night when you’re not out on a mission. Steve will sometimes sleep on a couch in Bucky’s room, which seems to work to a point also. One night he has a particularly bad nightmare. Worst one he’s had in a while. Even with you lying next to him he can’t fall back to sleep. “Get dressed.” You say after about an hour of him fidgeting. </p><p>“What? Why?”</p><p>“Because you’re not going to fall back to sleep anytime soon. You’re too upset about whatever your nightmare was and I know you don’t want to talk about it. You stay cooped up in the Tower all the time. So we’re going to go for a walk and get some air.”</p><p>His eyes go wide. “I...I...you know I don’t want to be around crowds.”</p><p>You roll your eyes at him. “It’s 3:00 am. Trust me there’s no crowds and the Tower is still closed so put on a hooded sweater or a baseball cap like Steve does. No one will see you.”</p><p>He just lays there frozen in place staring at you blankly. You put your hands on your hips and frown at him. “Have I ever steered you wrong?” When he doesn’t say anything your frown only deepens. “James…” Using his first name usually gets his attention, because then he knows you really mean business.</p><p>He sighs as he sits up. “No, you haven’t.”</p><p>Once the two of you are dressed you quietly leave the Tower and walk out onto the dark streets of the city. It’s early fall so the air is cool. Bucky’s arm bumps into yours a couple times because he’s walking so close. So you hold your hand out in between the two of you. “Can I hold your hand?”</p><p>He bites his lip and gives you a shy smile as he takes your hand and laces your fingers together. He looks so incredibly sexy when he does that. Your thoughts and feelings about Bucky have kind of shifted over the last few weeks. Your friendship started out because you were helping him for Steve. But the more you got to talk to the real him and spend time with him he truly became your friend. You’ve always thought he was handsome, you're not blind. You even told Steve that forever ago when you saw just a picture of him. But after you spent that first night sleeping next to him your feelings started changing. More than just friendship feelings. Why oh why did you have to go and fall for another super soldier? And they of course happen to be best friends. Just your luck you suppose. </p><p>Unlike Steve though, you think Bucky might actually feel something for you. Nights when you're lying next to him and he thinks you're asleep you’ll feel him press his lips to your forehead or whisper things like how special or perfect he thinks you are. He’s obviously got a lot to work on for himself right now. Not a good time for a relationship, but you know he’s worth the wait. So you can be patient and take baby steps.</p><p> </p><p>You nudge Bucky with your elbow. “See this isn’t so bad now is it?” He nods his head with a small smile. “Yeah dollface, as usual you’re right. Maybe I should stop arguing with you huh?”</p><p>“Meh, I find your stubbornness endearing to a point.”</p><p>He chuckles at you. “That point is reached when you call me James I’m guessing? Well, thank you again for being right. It is nice to get outside, even if it is the middle of the night.”</p><p>“You are very welcome. Can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to though.” He just nods his head at you. “Have you thought about what you want to do with yourself? You can’t stay holed up in the Tower forever.”</p><p>He bites his lip again. He stops walking and pulls you down onto a bench next to him. You decide to wait quietly, he’s obviously trying to gather his thoughts. He sighs and keeps his eyes forward. “Kind of. But I’m afraid it’s stupid to even ask.”</p><p>“Care to elaborate on that a little?”</p><p>“Um...well there’s really only one thing I know how to do. It’s not like I can go out and get a job like a regular guy. That’s just not gonna happen. I only know how to be a soldier. I know I don’t really meet the Avenger status, but maybe I could help you guys you know?” Before you can reply he scoffs at himself and shakes his head. “I know it sounds ridiculous. That’s why I haven’t said anything to Steve. Please don’t say anything to him.”</p><p>“Bucky slow down. Look at me. That’s not stupid at all. What have I told you about those negative thoughts? There are no qualifications to be an Avenger. Hell one day Steve just told me I was an Avenger if he said I was. I don’t see any reason why you couldn’t join as long as your doctor clears you. And I think Steve would agree with me. I won’t say anything, but you won’t know until you ask.”</p><p>He turns his head and finally looks you in the eyes. “I guess I should take my own advice and not argue with you huh? I’ll work up to it. I still think I need a little more time, okay?”</p><p>You nudge his shoulder playfully. “See you’re a quick learner.” That gets a small laugh out of him. You squeeze his hand that’s still holding yours. “Take as much time as you need Bucky. Don’t rush things.”</p><p>“Thanks doll.”</p><p> </p><p>When you return to the Tower you and Bucky are still holding hands. You two were gone longer than you realized. Because when you exit the elevator you see Steve and Sam dressed in their jogging clothes. Steve’s been trying to get Bucky to go jogging with him in the mornings but he keeps refusing. So Steve has a deep frown on his face and his eyes zero in on your joined hands. When he doesn’t say anything Bucky huffs at Steve. “You wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something pal?”</p><p>Steve slowly shakes his head. "No. I'm just surprised to see you up this early. Where did you two go?"</p><p>You look at Bucky waiting to follow his lead. It's up to him whatever he wants to tell Steve. He gently squeezes your hand and looks back at his best friend. "I was having trouble sleeping so she convinced me to go for a walk. I think I've finally learned not to argue with her."</p><p>Steve cracks a tiny smile and looks at you. "Yeah, I learned that one too. Since you're up you wanna go for a run with me and Sam?"</p><p>"Uh...not yet. But I might take you up on it soon."</p><p>Steve claps Bucky on the shoulder and nods his head. You have no idea why Sam even goes with Steve. He can't keep up and he always complains about needing a new set of lungs when he's done. Stupid boys and their egos you suppose.  </p><p> </p><p>Later in the day you're standing in the kitchen making lunch for you and Bucky. Suddenly Steve comes and leans on the counter next to you. "Hey doll. No Bucky?"</p><p>You smile at Steve. You know he's implying Bucky and you have been together constantly lately. Which is very true. "He's taking a shower. He should be out here soon so we can have lunch together." You're looking back down so you don't see Steve's face fall.</p><p>"Hey I got to thinking earlier, things have been so crazy lately I can't remember the last time we had a movie night. We still have that long list we haven't finished."</p><p>That makes your face light up. You have missed your movie nights with him. It used to be a weekly tradition. "Yeah you're right. It's been a while. I miss our weekend movie nights. When do you wanna do it?"</p><p>He opens his mouth to answer but someone walks up behind him and puts their hands over his eyes. "Guess who?" </p><p>"Sharon...hey." Steve says very unenthusiastically.</p><p>You wish looks could kill and Sharon Carter would burst into flames. You're too busy glaring daggers at her to notice that Steve doesn't seem all that pleased by the surprise. Even when you feel an arm drape over your shoulder your glare doesn't waiver. Bucky leans down and whispers next to your ear. "I think that glare you're sporting can rival one of mine. Wanna dial it down a notch maybe, doll?"</p><p>He ends up grabbing the sandwiches you made the both of you and pulls you out of the room. He's well aware of your dislike...or hatred for Sharon. He just doesn't know the full reason. He doesn't really like her much either. </p><p>Bucky sits you down in the dining room and chuckles. "So was that death glare about anything particular?"</p><p>You slump back in your seat with a frown. "Just my usual hatred for that stuck up bitch. But Steve and I were talking, trying to make plans and she rudely interrupted."</p><p>"I see. What kind of plans?"</p><p>You shrug your shoulders. "When we lived in D.C. we had movie nights whenever we had a day off. Things have been a bit busy since we moved to New York so we haven't been able to do it for a long time."</p><p>Bucky smiles at you. "You talking about that mile long drunken list you and Barton made?" He teases. You can’t help but laugh. How does everyone know about that? "I don't remember telling you about that. Who told you?"</p><p>"Steve and Natasha on separate occasions. Well you know I'm still behind on the times myself. We can have movie nights...I mean if you want to that is."</p><p>He is so incredibly adorable when he’s nervous to ask you something. “Of course I want to. I’m just sorry I didn’t think of it before. We’re watching them in my room though. My bed’s bigger and more comfortable.”</p><p>Bucky’s face lights up. He’s got a smile that rivals Steve’s that also makes you melt like butter. “You got yourself a deal dollface…” He gets cut off by the sound for Steve and Sharon arguing about Bucky again. She thinks he puts too much time and effort into Bucky, and doesn’t spend enough time with her. Your face darkens and your hands clench into fists as a disapproving growl escapes you. Bucky puts his flesh hand over one of your clenched hands. “Doll it’s fine. You know I don’t care what she thinks about me. As entertaining as it would be to watch you beat the living snot out of her, how about we go start watching some movies now before you do something you might regret later?”</p><p>You tear your eyes away from the wall you were boring holes through with your eyes and look at Bucky which immediately makes your eyes soften. His sad puppy face definitely trumps Steve’s. “Okay let’s go.”</p><p> </p><p>As you’re lying in your bed curled up next to Bucky you can’t help but think how nice it feels. Maybe you should give up on your useless crush on Steve. You’ll always love him, but it might be time to let go and move on. Bucky pulls you from your thoughts when he gently runs his fingers from his flesh hand through your hair once. “You were right.”</p><p>You lean your head back so you can see his face. “About…?”</p><p>“Your bed is much more comfortable.”</p><p>You shrug your shoulders and smile. “Told ya so. You could start sleeping in here on your bad nights if you want.” He bites his lip nervously. You can't help but drop your eyes to his lips when he does that. Does he realize how sexy he looks when he does that? He clears his throat awkwardly which regains your attention. “Really?” You just nod your head at him. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’ve decided not to question it anymore.”</p><p>You pat him on the arm and lay your head back down. “I knew you were more than just a pretty face.” You tease. That gets a genuine laugh out of Bucky. You don’t get those very often. He’ll chuckle quietly, but the full on loud laughter is rare. It’s like music to your ears, and you want nothing more than to keep that smile on his handsome face.</p><p> </p><p>Bucky ends up just sleeping in your room that night. You had a movie marathon and ate junk food until you both passed out. When Bucky wakes up in the morning you have your head resting on his chest. After he stares at you adoringly for a few minutes he decides it’s early enough that he can go for that morning run with Steve. There aren’t that many people out at this hour, you proved that to him. Plus you’ll be proud of him for getting out of the Tower.</p><p>He gently presses his lips to your forehead. He’d rather stay in this bed all day with you, but he needs to start putting more effort into getting over his fears. When he finally pries his lips away from your soft skin he tries to gently slide you over so he can get up. But you squeeze your arms around him with a surprisingly strong grip, not that he thought you were weak or anything. You’re still sound asleep and you have a death grip on him. He eventually frees himself, but an adorable frown appears on your face. He pulls the blankets back around you and runs the back of his flesh hand across your cheek making your frown disappear.</p><p>He forces himself to leave your room, which was a very hard thing to do. When he gets out in the hallway he gently pulls the door closed in hopes of not waking you. He knows there’s someone else in the hallway already so he turns around and sees Steve watching him. He smiles at Steve. “Hey pal, I was just going to come find you.”</p><p>“Were you in (Y/N)’s room all night?” Steve blurts out, and also interrupts Bucky before he could finish what he was going to say.</p><p>“Yeah we stayed up watching movies really late last night and fell asleep.” </p><p>Steve’s face falls even more than it already had when he watched Bucky walk out of your room. That was always his thing with you. Now Bucky has taken that too? When Steve doesn’t say anything Bucky gives his friend a confused look. “Steve? Did I do something wrong?”</p><p>Steve sighs to himself and shakes his head. “No. Sorry. Um...what were you going to come find me for?”</p><p>“I think I’ll take you up on that offer to go running with you. Is that still okay?” Bucky asks cautiously since he’s not sure what’s up with Steve.</p><p>Hearing that seems to make Steve snap out of whatever mood he was in. “Really? Yeah of course it’s still okay. You wanna get changed and meet me and Sam by the elevator?” Bucky nods his head and runs across the hall to his own room. Once Bucky is out of sight Steve wipes a hand down his face and looks at your door with a heartbroken look on his face. He can already tell his best friend is in love with you just as much as he is. But he wonders if you actually feel the same about Bucky.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
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</p><p>CHAPTER 8</p><p> </p><p>Steve’s sitting in his office staring at the ceiling with his mind racing. He can’t get you out of his mind and it’s getting harder and harder to keep his feelings to himself. Especially with his jealousy bubbling to the surface over Bucky also having feelings for you. When there’s a knock on his door he can’t help the heavy sigh that comes from him. He leans his head back down and sees Natasha and Sam standing by the door with strange looks on their faces. “Can I help you two with something?” He says, already sounding annoyed.</p><p>He can tell Sam’s biting back a smile. Nat crosses her arms over her chest and smirks. “Clint and (Y/N) are at it again...we need you to help break it up.”</p><p>Steve groans and looks back to the ceiling again. “Do I dare ask what they are doing this time?” Sam loses his battle of holding back his smile and bursts into laughter. “You better just come see for yourself man.”</p><p>“That bad huh?” Steve says as he gets up and follows Nat and Sam down the hallway. He can tell he’s getting close when he hears your laughter following some crashing sounds and likely something breaking. He can’t help but smile when he hears you laugh. But the smile is wiped off his face when a cupcake flies past his head and smashes into the wall next to him, slowly sliding down to the floor leaving a trail of frosting behind.</p><p>He cautiously peeks his head into the kitchen and sees you and Clint throwing food at each other and using plastic food trays as shields. “Oh dear god.” He mutters under his breath. There is food everywhere and stuck to everything. It was Clint’s turn to clean the fridge. This definitely doesn’t qualify as cleaning the fridge. He can only imagine what started this disaster. “Okay that’s enough.” Steve bellows out in his captain voice.</p><p>Both you and Clint have your arms cocked back ready to throw something but stop and turn your heads at the sound of Steve’s voice. You smile at Steve with what he’s pretty sure is whipped cream dripping off your face. “Hey Steve...it’s not as bad as it looks.”</p><p>Steve just gives you an unamused look. Then Tony walks into the kitchen and his eyes go wide. “What in the ever loving fuck happened in here?” You drop another cupcake that was in your hand and point at Clint. “He started it. He sprayed whipped cream all over my face.”</p><p>Clint gasps and points a finger at you. “Tattle tale!”</p><p>Tony rolls his eyes. “You two are worse than children. Good lord. And that should tell you something if it’s coming from me.” He points between the two of you. “You better clean this before Pepper gets back. I’m sure she’ll think I was part of this.” You can tell Tony is trying not to laugh. He’s afraid laughing will just encourage the two of you. You look back to Steve who’s still giving you a grumpy frown. He’s been awfully cranky lately. You smile mischievously at Steve. He gets a worried look on his face, knowing that smile means you’re up to no good.</p><p>You run across the kitchen and he finally sees just how badly covered in food you are. He’s too distracted to realize that you are running right at him until you jump and throw yourself at him. As a reaction he opens his arms to catch you and feels your cold, sticky, and wet clothing smear all over his. “Come on Steve smile.” You scoop some of the whipped cream off your face and wipe it down his face. He couldn’t stay mad at you even if he tried. He can’t help but laugh. “This is so disgusting.” He says as he’s laughing.</p><p>You hug him tighter, smearing more food on him. “Yes it is, but I still made your grumpy ass laugh.” Steve hugs you back. “I know I’m sorry about that doll.”</p><p>You look over your shoulder at the mess behind you, and at your partner in crime. “I’m going to go wash this off and then I’ll come back to help clean it up.” Clint just nods his head making some of the jelly drip off his face onto the already messy floor. You grab Steve’s hand and pull him out of the room with you. Once you’re out of ear shot of everyone you ask him what you’ve been waiting to ask him. “What’s making you so cranky lately?”</p><p>Steve’s face falls and shakes his head. “Nothing doll I’m fine.” You put your hands on your hips and narrow your eyes at him. But it’s kind of hard for him to take you seriously right now when you’re covered in food. “We both know what a terrible liar you are. So how about we skip that part and you just tell me the truth.”</p><p>His shoulders slump and he hangs his head. He should have known you’d call him out on it sooner or later, and he knows you won’t let up until you get it out of him. He bites his lip nervously and he raises his head back up. “It’s going to sound stupid and childish.”</p><p>You smirk at him and point at yourself. “You’re worried about sounding childish? Seriously? You saw what Clint and I just did.”</p><p>Steve chuckles a little and shakes his head. He can’t argue with that. “You had a movie night with Bucky after I asked you. That’s always kind of been our thing, you know?”</p><p>Now it’s your turn to slump your shoulders. You didn’t think about that. Bucky was trying to keep you from pummeling Sharon so you agreed without a second thought. Now Steve’s feelings are hurt. When you don’t say anything Steve shrugs his shoulders. “See I told you it was stupid.”</p><p>“No Steve. You’re right and I’m sorry. That’s not exactly how it happened, and I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Neither did Bucky.”</p><p>“What do you mean by that’s not how it happened?”</p><p>Well he was honest with you, it’s only fair if you're honest with him. You take a deep breath and look him in the eyes. “I hate your fucking girlfriend okay? I can’t stand her. And when I heard her fighting with you about Bucky again I was ready to give her the ass kicking she’s had a long time coming. I had just told him what you and I were talking about. He was trying to stop me from doing something foolish and thought a movie night would distract me. I’m sorry.”</p><p>Steve just stands there blinking his eyes a few times with a disbelieving look on his face. When he doesn’t say anything you start to get nervous. Worried you said too much and he’s going to be upset with you. He opens and closes his mouth a couple times as he tries to figure out what to say. “I didn’t know you felt that way. Why didn’t you ever say anything before?”</p><p>“Because you're my friend and I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. And whoever you chose to date is your business not mine. Are you mad at me?”</p><p>He shakes his head at you. “No of course I’m not mad at you. I just wasn’t expecting that, and for as well as I know you I probably should have picked up on that. I’m sorry that I’m a little slow to catch on sometimes. So can we make up our movie night...just me and you?”</p><p>You feel relieved he’s not mad at you and visibly relax. “Yes definitely. I just need to clean myself up and then the kitchen disaster obviously.” A smile appears back on Steve’s face as he laughs at you. “Okay doll. You two really made a mess this time.”</p><p> </p><p>Bucky comes walking out of the kitchen with a confused look on his face, scratching his head. Until he lays eyes on you and seems to put two and two together. “Uh...Barton?” You look at Steve and give him the same mischievous smile you gave him in the kitchen. He immediately knows what it means this time, and he nods his head in agreement. “I think Bucky is looking far too clean.” You say as you lunge at him. He reacts on instinct like Steve and opens his arms to catch you and doesn’t realize his mistake until it’s too late.</p><p>You smear your sticky food mess all over him and wipe some on his face. His face cringes as he holds back a smile. “Thanks for that doll. So kind of you to share, I was feeling left out.” He says sarcastically. Then he gently sets you back down and tries shaking some of the mess off his hands. “Well since you and Barton destroyed the kitchen, wanna order something for dinner?”</p><p>You almost immediately answer yes, but you see Steve’s face fall. You seem to easily forget things when you're with Bucky. You’ve never really had to tell him no before. It’s not like he ever asks for much. This is gonna suck. “Actually I promised Steve we’d make up our movie night that was interrupted the other day. Can I get a rain check for tomorrow?”</p><p>Bucky has a much better poker face than Steve, but you can see it in his eyes. He’s disappointed. He nods his head a couple times. “Yeah, yeah of course. I’m just gonna go get cleaned up...again.” You feel bad just like you knew you would. Well maybe you can make it up to him tomorrow.</p><p> </p><p>That night after you and Clint clean your mess you go to Steve’s room. You're a little worried about Bucky. If you’re in Steve’s room late you aren’t going to hear him if he has a nightmare. He’ll be okay for one night...right? That’s what you keep hoping at least.</p><p>When you’re laying next to Steve in his bed you realize just how much you really did miss this. It hasn’t been just the two of you for a long time. A piece of popcorn hits you in the face while you’re deep in thought. You look over at Steve who’s giving you an adorable boyish grin. “Stop thinking so hard. What could you possibly be thinking so hard about right now?”</p><p>You smile back at him. “I was just thinking how I miss this. Hydra aside, I liked how we had things in D.C. You know what I mean?”</p><p>“I do, I miss it too. We had a pretty good set up and routine. We’ll just have to figure a new one out.” He opens his arms and pulls you closer to him so your head is resting on his shoulder. Just as you get cozy Steve’s phone starts ringing. He blindly reaches around and grabs his phone off the nightstand. When he holds his phone in front of his face you both see at the same time that it’s Sharon. You roll your eyes to yourself and go to pull yourself up so he can answer his phone. But Steve surprises you. He holds onto you and declines the call. “Nope, our night. Whatever she wants I’m sure it can wait.”</p><p>Well you aren’t gonna argue with that. <em>Fuck you Sharon</em>. You think smugly to yourself as you cuddle back into Steve. You know this night is probably going to end up hurting you more than helping you get over your feelings for Steve. But fuck it, you’re gonna enjoy your night with him.</p><p>You end up falling asleep with Steve wrapped around you, and shamelessly savor every moment of it. When you wake early in the morning Steve has both of his arms wrapped tightly around you and his face pressed against your neck. As nice as this feels you can’t help but worry about Bucky. You wonder if he slept last night. His nightmares have slowly been lessening. They aren’t every night at least like they were in the beginning. But you have a feeling that you need to go check on him.</p><p>You try to pull out of Steve’s arms but he’s got a tight grip on you. “Steve...can I get up please?” He lets out an annoyed groan. “Why?” You chuckle at him. “Because it’s morning time, aren’t you going on your morning run soon anyway?”</p><p>He finally lifts his head and squints one eye open to look at the clock. He huffs and gives you one last hug before he pulls away. “Yeah, Sam’s going to be ready before me now and rub it in my face because that never happens.” You pat him on the arm as you sit up. “Well there’s a first time for everything. You’ll survive a little gloating at your expense.” You tease.</p><p>When you get to his door he calls your name before you leave. You stop and give him a questioning look. “Thank you.” He says quietly. You smile at him and nod your head. “Yeah, you too.”</p><p> </p><p>You smile to yourself as you leave Steve’s room and head toward your room. But the smile is quickly wiped off your face when you near your room and hear a familiar scream come from Bucky’s room. “Shit. I knew it.” You quickly run into your room so you can grab the key to his room and then run back across the hall. It’s his terrified scream that just makes you want to cry when you hear it. Because whatever could possibly be scaring him that bad must be horrible. When you get into his room you see him thrashing around on his bed as he screams. “Bucky!”</p><p>He can’t hear you over his own screaming. You kick and shake the bed a few times and continue calling his name. But between the screaming and the thrashing it’s not working. But there’s no way you can go shake him awake. If you startle him he’ll definitely start swinging. So you have to just stand there and watch the heart breaking scene before you until he quiets down enough to be able to hear you.</p><p>You probably could have ran and got Steve, but the thought of just leaving Bucky didn’t feel like an option. So after about 10 minutes he at least has a brief pause between his screams and he’s not moving quite as much. So you kick at the mattress a couple times and try yelling his name as loud as you can. “Bucky! Wake up!”</p><p>He startles and as you suspected he swings his fists a few times. Then he jolts upright, he has tears in his eyes and he’s breathing heavily. He gets a relieved look on his face when he sees you. “(Y/N)? Thank god you’re alright.” Then he opens his arms reaching for you. Without hesitation you take the few steps you need to stand right in front of him. But apparently that wasn’t close enough. He pulls you into his lap and wraps his arms around you like he’s afraid you might disappear. You can feel his body shaking beneath you. So you wrap your arms around him and hug him with one hand running through his hair. “It’s okay Bucky. It was just a bad dream. Everything’s okay.”</p><p>He shakes his head and chokes back a sob. This is the most shaken you’ve ever seen him. You’re assuming his nightmare included you since he looked so relieved to see you and that you were okay. You gently pull his face from your chest and put both hands on his face. “Bucky, look at me. I’m okay.”</p><p>“Please don’t leave me.” He gasps out.</p><p>He is just breaking your heart right now. When he won’t open his eyes you press your forehead against his. “I’m right here with you. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>Bucky never told you what his nightmare was about. He never usually does, and you don’t pry. But whatever it was had him shaken up for a while. All you can surmise is something terrible happened to you in his nightmare. You feel guilty for leaving him alone that night. You had this gut feeling something like that was going to happen, but you didn’t want to hurt Steve’s feelings. Even Steve felt bad when he found out about it. It took Bucky a couple weeks and a few counseling sessions to get over whatever it was.</p><p> </p><p>You and Bucky have stuck even closer together since that night. So he’s sitting in your room with you as you hesitantly get ready for Tony’s New Year’s Eve party. “You sure you don’t want me to stay? I can miss one party. Tony has them all the time.” You call out from your bathroom. This is about the tenth time you’ve said this to Bucky.</p><p>“I promise I’ll be fine and won’t have any mental breakdowns while you're downstairs.”</p><p>You poke your head out of the bathroom and narrow your eyes at him. “You know that’s not at all what I meant or was implying. I know you’re not ready to go to a big party like this. But I feel bad you’re spending New Year’s alone.”</p><p>He shrugs his shoulders. “I won’t be. You’ll be back after the party and it’ll still be New Year’s. Therefore I won’t be alone.” You just narrow your eyes at him more so he huffs at you. “Doll, I don’t want you missing out of stuff because of me. It’s just a few hours. I swear I’m fine. You know I wouldn’t lie to you.”</p><p>Well you can’t argue with that. If he doesn’t want to tell you or talk about something he’ll just flat out say that instead of coming up with a lie. Seeming satisfied with his answer you resume getting ready for the party. Normally you would do this with Nat, but she went out to a salon to get ready and you weren’t in the mood for that. Apparently she’s going to finally make a move on Bruce tonight. She’s going to kiss him at midnight. She looks gorgeous all the time, so you don’t see why she felt the need to go to a salon. But whatever, her choice.</p><p>Steve’s going with Sharon of course. Clint isn’t coming, he’s staying home with his family. Thor’s back from Asgard but he’s bringing Jane. Basically everyone has a date and a special someone to kiss at midnight except for you. Even Sam has a date. So you aren’t really looking forward to this party. You’d kiss Bucky if you could get away with it. But you don’t think he’s ready for that yet.</p><p>You give yourself one final look in the mirror and call out to Bucky. "Okay I'm coming out. Brace yourself." He's never seen you dressed up like this before so you’re a little nervous. You walk out of the bathroom and twirl in a circle in your long blue silk dress. When you stop and face him his mouth is hanging open but no words come out.</p><p>"That bad huh?"</p><p>That seems to make him come to his senses. "No, you look absolutely beautiful doll. How about you save me a dance after the party?"</p><p>You bite your lip and smile at him. "Really? You wanna dance with little ole me?"</p><p>He stands up and takes hold of your hand as he smiles at you. "Dollface I would be a fool to not dance with you looking like that. So will you save me a dance?"</p><p>"Of course I will. I'd love to dance with you."</p><p> </p><p>Bucky being the gentleman that he is escorts you out of your room and to the living room where your group of friends are waiting. Steve’s eyes light up when he sees you. “You look gorgeous doll. Think I can steal the first dance with you tonight?”</p><p>You glance around the room and thankfully don’t see Sharon yet. “Yeah definitely, but aren’t you going with Sharon?” He just waves you off. “She’s meeting me there. So don’t worry about it. Can I walk you down or has your beauty stunned Bucky into going?”</p><p>Bucky claps his hand on Steve’s shoulder. “She’s all yours for now pal. She promised me a dance when she gets back. Looks like you get the first one and I get the last one.” That puts a smile on your face. You hadn’t thought about it like that. You give Bucky one more hug and then take off with Steve to the party. When you get to the floor the party is being held on Steve doesn’t even stop to look for Sharon he just pulls you out to the dance floor.</p><p>You chuckle at him. “Boy you weren’t kidding were ya? You wanted to get that dance right away huh?” He looks you up and down which makes you blush. “With you looking like this the guys are going to be lining up to get a dance with you. So of course I wasn’t going to wait.”</p><p>“You sweet talker you.” You tease as you sway with him to the music. You love dancing with him, you’ve danced with him many times. It always makes you feel special, with his arms around you and he’s entirely focused on you.</p><p>Both of you look sad when the song comes to an end. Steve opens his mouth to say something, but gets rudely interrupted...again. Sharon pops up next to you. Steve still has his hands on you. She throws you a dirty look. “Can I have my boyfriend back now?” She snaps.</p><p>You narrow your eyes at her and force yourself not to punch her in her stupid face. You take a deep breath and turn back to Steve who also seemed to be giving Sharon a disapproving look. “Thank you for the dance Steve. I’ll just catch up with you later.” Then you turn and head directly for the bar before he can even say anything in response.</p><p> </p><p>You down your shot of tequila...this isn’t the first one. You lost track of how many you’ve had. You’re sure the bartender is going to cut you off soon. You slam the empty shot glass on the bar and groan when you see the object of your desires dancing with someone else. What the fuck does Steve see in that woman? Seriously. This emotional rollercoaster he’s putting you through is just getting sad. You need to let go of your feelings for him. You can start by finding someone to kiss tonight, and put your focus elsewhere. That sounds like a fantastic solution in your drunken state. You glance around the room for anyone that might fit the bill, but come up empty. You let out a dramatic sigh and slump back in your chair. “No fair. I have no one to kiss at midnight.”</p><p>“Hey, neither do I. Sucks right?”</p><p>You turn around at the sound of another voice. And you’re surprised when you see who it is. “Scotty? I didn’t know you were coming. How long have you been here?” It’s Scott Lang aka Antman. He’s adorable, awkward, and just a fun guy to be around. But he lives in California so you don’t get to see him very often. He’s come in handy on a few missions you’ve had.</p><p>“Uh...long enough to get drunk? I was in town so Tony invited me, and when I got here Sam kept giving me drinks.”</p><p>You get up and give him a hug. “I missed you. Wanna dance with me since you’re here alone too?” He hugs you back and smiles. “Aww I missed you too. Sure I’ll dance with you, but I can’t promise I’m very coordinated right now.”</p><p>As the two of you stumble your way out to the dance floor Scott blurts out an idea that pops into his head. He throws his arm over your shoulder. “Hey since we’re both alone we could totally kiss and midnight. Right?” You glance across the room and zero in on Steve and his cunty girlfriend once again. Fuck him, you think to yourself. You don’t want to think about him anymore tonight. “That sounds like a fantastic idea. Let’s go practice.”</p><p> </p><p>10 minutes later…</p><p>Nat watched you and Scott stumbling around. Both of you are very obviously completely wasted. You pulled Scott out of the room with you, basically dragging him behind you. That was 10 minutes ago and you haven’t come back. She sighs and hands Bruce her drink. “I’ll be right back. I have a feeling (Y/N) isn’t making grown up choices tonight.”</p><p>She leaves the party and walks out into the almost empty hallway. She doesn’t see any sign of either of you anywhere. Where would you have gone? She doesn’t have to wonder long, a loud crashing sound gets her attention. She follows the sound to a supply closet and braces herself hoping not to see anything too scaring as she rips the door open. “Oh come on.” She groans as she sees Scott pressing you up against the wall as you very sloppily make out with each other.</p><p>Nat yanks Scott away from you. “Alright romeo, back to the party.”</p><p>“But…” He starts to protest. Nat crosses her arms and gives him a stern look with a raised brow. Without another word he turns and hightails it back to the party. “That was rude Nat!” You slur out as you wipe your face with the back of your hand. She just rolls her eyes at you and roughly grabs you by the arm dragging you to the elevator. “Hey! Where are you taking me?”</p><p>“I don’t know what’s gotten into you, or why you’re so wasted. But you’ll thank me in the morning. You’re done for the night.”</p><p>You stomp your foot childishly and whine. “But Nat, I don’t wanna be done.”</p><p>“Tough.” She growls out as the elevator dings and she resumes dragging you. You whine some more as you stumble along behind her. Bucky was kicked back on the couch, just watching TV in the living room. He turns when he hears voices approaching and gets a confused look when he sees Natasha dragging you. A very inebriated you.</p><p>Nat shoves you down onto the couch next to Bucky. “Could you please babysit her the rest of the night? Don’t let her back downstairs. Got it?”</p><p>Bucky frowns. “Yeah, okay. But what happened?”</p><p>“I just pulled her drunk ass out of a supply closet. She had her tongue down Scott Lang’s throat. He’s just as drunk as her. So she’s done for the night.”</p><p>Nat throws you a look before she walks away. You glare at her while attempting to reach for your heels to pull them off. “Screw you sour puss. Like you aren’t about to have your tongue down Bruce’s throat.” The last thing you see is her flipping you off over her shoulder. Then you lose your balance and flop back on the couch landing with your head in Bucky’s lap. You stick out your bottom lip and pout. “I can’t get my shoe off.”</p><p>Bucky shakes his head and tries not to laugh as he reaches for your leg to help you with your shoe problem. “So you like the nerdy ant guy?” He says trying to sound curious instead of disappointed.</p><p>You almost miss his question when his hand touches your bare leg. You close your eyes as you bite your lip and feel goosebumps breakout across your skin. When you open your eyes you see Bucky’s beautiful blue eyes looking down at you. “No, I don’t wanna date him or anything, he’s just a friend. We didn’t have anyone to kiss at midnight and got carried away...practicing?”</p><p>“Practicing huh? Been a while since you kissed someone?”</p><p>Your eyes light up when you get another brilliant idea and ignore his question. “Will you kiss me at midnight?”</p><p>He gets a surprised look on his face and doesn’t answer you right away. Once he’s gotten both of your shoes off for you he pulls you into his lap like you weigh nothing. “No I’m sorry doll, but I’m not gonna kiss you when you’re drunk.” You flop your head against his shoulder and pout again. “Nobody wants to kiss me.”</p><p>“I didn’t say I didn’t want to. I just said I wasn’t going to do it when you’re drunk.”</p><p>You don’t get to take in what he just said because a wave of nausea hits you. Thankfully you don’t throw up though. You wrap your arms around him and bury your face in his neck. “Bucky I don’t feel so good.” He scoops you up and gets up off the couch with you in his arms. “I think we should get you to bed sweetheart”</p><p>When he gets you to your room he gently lays you on the bed but you keep a tight hold on him. “Stay with me please.” He smiles and climbs onto the bed next to you. “I wasn’t planning on leaving you.” You lay your head on his chest and throw a leg over him just to reiterate you don’t want him to leave. You’re too drunk and tired to care that you still have your dress on. “Bucky? What about our dance?” You mumble already half asleep.</p><p>“You can make it up to me tomorrow. How’s that sound?”</p><p>“Okay.” You whisper as you drift off to sleep. Bucky just lays there for a while holding you, gently running his fingers through your hair. He can’t see the clock but he knows when midnight comes when he hears all the fireworks going off outside. Even the loud booming doesn’t wake you, you’re passed out cold. He gently presses his lips to your forehead. “Happy new year babydoll. I love you more than you’ll ever know. Maybe I’ll work up the nerve to kiss your beautiful face tomorrow and tell you.”</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
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</p><p>CHAPTER 9</p><p> </p><p>The feeling of fingers running through your hair wakes you. But you immediately regret waking up. You have a splitting headache and feel like you got hit by a truck. You groan and bury your face against the body next to you. “You alright doll?” Bucky whispers quietly.</p><p>“Depends on your definition of alright.” You mumble. </p><p>You feel his chest shake as he tries not to laugh at you. “Here take this.” His lack of further explanation means you have to open your eyes and you really don’t want to do that. But you cautiously squint one eye open and see him holding a bottle of aspirin. “Oh you’re the best.” You groan again as you force yourself upright and take the bottle of water and the aspirin he hands you. He shakes his head at you. “As much as I’d like to take all the credit, I can’t. Steve brought it by before he left. He had a mission come up and I guess Natasha told him you’d be hung over today.”</p><p>Right, Steve. The whole reason you got so drunk last night. Seemed like a good idea at the time. When you flop back down on the bed curled up next to Bucky last night's events slowly start coming back to you. “Oh no...oh god. Did I...? I didn’t…? Oh fuck I did, didn’t I?” Bucky can’t help but laugh at your rambling nonsense because he knows exactly what you’re freaking out about. “According to Natasha you did.”</p><p>You groan dramatically and pull the blankets over your head. “Son of a bitch. I made out with Scotty in a fucking closet. Just shoot me now, because I’m going to die of embarrassment. Who else did she tell?”</p><p>Bucky unburies you from the blankets so he can see your face. You want to be mad at him for laughing, but you just don’t have it in you. You love hearing him laugh. Even if it is at your expense. “Calm down, don’t be so dramatic. Only me and Natasha know. We won’t tell anyone else. Well, I mean, unless you do really like the guy and wanna be his ant girl.” He laughs out the last part. You narrow your eyes at him and smack him with a pillow. “You’re such a jerk. No, I don’t want to be his ant girl.”</p><p>He wraps his arms around you and hugs you. “Okay, I’m sorry I just couldn’t help myself. Why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll get you some hangover food. Will that make me not a jerk anymore?”</p><p>“Yes, food bribery definitely works. And I feel like I need to wash last night off me anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>You take an almost scalding hot shower while internally scolding yourself. You like Scott, you really do, but not like that. He’s your friend and nothing more. You wanna kill Nat for telling Bucky, but also thank her at the same time for dragging you out of there. That’s what you get for excessive drinking while wallowing over Steve you suppose. You gotta draw a line somewhere. No more pining over Steve. Let last night be your rock bottom and move on. </p><p>Once you feel clean enough you get out of the shower and get dressed. When you walk out of the bathroom Bucky is there waiting with the food he promised you. He really is the best. You smile and sit down next to him. “Thank you. I officially retract my jerk comment.” You say playfully.</p><p>He smiles at you but you can tell he’s distracted, like his mind is elsewhere. Great. What else did you do last night? “Bucky? Something wrong?”</p><p>He bites his bottom lip and shakes his head a few times. Then he locks his eyes onto yours. “No, I've just been thinking. Did you mean it last night when you asked me to kiss you?” Your eyes go wide. Oh no. You did say that didn’t you? You didn’t mean to do that or pressure him in any way. It just drunkenly slipped out. When you don’t say anything, and just sit there staring at him blankly while you internally panic he decides to try again. He leans closer to you and puts his flesh hand on your face. “I meant it when I said the only reason I wouldn’t kiss you was because you were drunk. If we ever had a first kiss I wanted it to be a little more meaningful.”</p><p>“First...first kiss?” You whisper quietly. Surprised he’s being so blunt about this suddenly. He smiles and leans his face closer so his lips are just inches from yours. “Yeah dollface. You should be kissing me, not some nerdy guy. Can I kiss you?” Not feeling able to form words suddenly you just nod your head. He closes the small distance between you and presses his soft lips to yours. It feels better than you ever dreamed to have him kissing you. As he moves his lips slowly against yours you have to force yourself to not get carried away or too excited and just let him set the pace.</p><p>The kiss feels like it goes on forever and you’re okay with that. You don’t want it to end. But he does eventually break the kiss and rests his forehead against yours with his hand still cupping your face. “I have wanted to do that for a very long time.” He whispers.</p><p>You feel like a giddy teenager hearing him say that. “Me too. That was the perfect first kiss.”</p><p>He presses one more soft kiss to your lips and then leans back so he can see your face. “There’s something I’ve been working up the nerve to say to you. Now seems like the perfect time. I don’t know what I would have done without you. You’ve done so much and helped me through a lot of hard times. You look past the mess of a man I am. I’ve never met anyone like you before. I am so madly in love with you (Y/N). I love you so much, and I’m hoping you feel the same because I really want you to be my best girl.”</p><p>You feel like you want to cry. You put your hands on his handsome face and smile. “Firstly you are not a mess of a man. Sometimes you think I’m asleep but I’m really not, and I hear you telling me how you feel about me. The only reason I haven’t said anything is because I wasn’t sure if you were ready for a relationship yet. I didn’t want to push you into anything you might not be ready for. So what I'm trying to say is yes Bucky I love you too."</p><p>His face lights up in a way you've never seen before and he crashes his lips against yours. Much different than the previous kiss you had shared. This one is almost like he's trying to devour you. He breaks the kiss when you are in dire need of air. "So does that mean you're my best girl now?" He gasps out.</p><p>"Are you sure you're ready for that? There's no rush, I'm not going anywhere."</p><p>"I've known you over a year now, and been here over 6 months. We're together all the time and even sleep next to each other. Haven't we already been kinda dating without saying it out loud? Just minus the kissing obviously."</p><p>Well he's not wrong you can't argue that point. "Hmm...I must say I do like the idea of adding kissing into what we've got going on. Yes I would love to be your best girl. But on the condition that we move at your pace, no rushing things."</p><p>"Fair enough. So if my pace right now is to keep kissing my best girl and show her how much I love her…?"</p><p>You chuckle at him and put your hand on the back of his neck. "I'd say less talking and more kissing Sergeant." </p><p>Just before his lips touch yours he smiles, but it's a mischievous smile. "You mean because you need practice?" He teases, reminding you of your drunken nonsense last night. You let out an annoyed growl but before you can retort he presses his lips to yours making you forget whatever it was you were just mad about.</p><p> </p><p>A lot changes within a week. That's how long Steve and Sam were gone. You eventually met up with Scott before he left town and awkwardly talked out your drunken New Year’s Eve incident. You both agreed you were friends and just to never speak of it again. Then you awkwardly hugged before he left. Then Nat teased you about it relentlessly. But she swore she wouldn’t tell anyone, other than Bucky obviously who she had already told</p><p>You and Bucky kind of just went on as you normally do as far as your relationship goes. The only real change is that you kiss each other...a lot. And Bucky hugs and holds you much more frequently, he stopped holding back his feelings for you. </p><p>Bucky got up on his own and started going for his morning runs without Steve there for once. He asked if you wanted to go with him but you just laughed at him from under the blankets and went back to sleep. It was worth hearing your laughter at least.</p><p>When Bucky sees that Steve is back he's feeling a little more confident and decides to finally ask his best friend about joining the Avengers. Steve smiles at his best friend when he sees him get off the elevator. “Went running by yourself? That’s great Buck.”</p><p>“Yeah I have been all week. I asked (Y/N) if she wanted to go and she just laughed at me.”</p><p>Steve starts laughing himself. “I’m not the least bit surprised. She did the same to me when we lived in D.C. Speaking of (Y/N), I have great news to tell her. I’m sure you’ll be happy too. We finally caught Rumlow. The CIA took custody of him. He’ll probably never see daylight again.”</p><p>“That is great news. It’s about time he got what’s coming to him. Listen Steve...there’s a couple things I wanted to talk to you about. You have a few minutes?”</p><p>“Yeah of course Buck.” Steve claps him on the shoulder and they walk around the corner to his room to talk privately. </p><p> </p><p>You finally roll yourself out of bed and decide to make you and Bucky something for breakfast. He’s been gone an awfully long time. When you get to the kitchen you figure out why. Sam’s back which means Steve is back. He must be with Steve. Sam smiles when he sees you. “So...you like old men huh?”</p><p>You cock your head to the side and frown at him. What the hell? Then you figure out what he’s talking about. Someone told him about you and Bucky already. Apparently none of your friends were all that surprised. They figured it was just a matter of time. “You make it sound creepy when you say it like that. And he doesn’t look old you ass. He’s in better shape than you.”</p><p>He holds his hand to his chest like he’s wounded. “Ouch. That was cold.” You just roll your eyes at him and go back to what you were doing. But he interrupts you again. “Did you hear we caught Rumlow?” You drop everything you were doing and give him your full attention now. “Really? Did you beat the shit out of him before you handed him over at least?”</p><p>He shakes his head and laughs at you. “Steve tried playing it cool but Brock started mouthing off about you so Steve ended up knocking him around pretty good. I got a few good hits in for you. So you’re welcome.”</p><p>You can’t help the moment Steve walks in that you forget about trying to distance yourself. You’re too excited that he finally caught Brock, and kicked his ass. You run over to Steve with a big smile. “Is it true? You caught Rumlow and beat him up?” Steve throws Sam a look. Like he wasn’t supposed to say anything. When he looks back at you his eyes soften. “Yeah doll we got him. And he said some things I didn’t like and had to teach him a lesson.” </p><p>You jump and wrap your arms around Steve excitedly. He smiles and hugs you back. “I’m so happy. I wish I could have seen it though.” Over Steve’s shoulder you see Bucky standing there with a smile on his own face. He looks excited but you don’t think it’s about Brock. You let go of Steve and Bucky comes and stands next to him. “What are you so excited about? You ask him curiously.</p><p>Steve smiles too and puts his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Well you are looking at the newest Avenger.” That makes you even more excited than the news about Brock. “Really Bucky? You finally asked him?”</p><p>“Yeah I finally worked up the nerve for that too.”</p><p>“I’m so proud of you. See I told you, you had nothing to worry about.” You move over to him and put your hands on his face pulling him down for a kiss. He wraps his arms around you, kissing you back. You’re too caught up in each other to see the shocked and devastated look on Steve’s face. </p><p>Sam however saw the whole thing. He coughs loudly in an attempt to break the moment, which does actually work. When you break the kiss you both look at Steve who has since straightened his face back out. He points between the two of you. “Uh...so you two...you’re dating now?”</p><p>Bucky’s eyes go wide. “Right that was the other thing I was going to tell you. Sorry pal, we got sidetracked once we talked about me joining. Yeah I finally asked (Y/N) to be my best girl and she said yes obviously.”</p><p>Steve rubs a hand on the back of his neck nervously. “Wow...I mean that’s great. I’m happy for you both. Listen I got a few things to do so I’ll catch up with you later.” Then he quickly leaves the room. Sam slips out of the room after him. The two of you aren’t really paying attention to anything but each other at the moment anyway so you don’t notice.</p><p>“You waited too long Steve.” Sam calls out to his friend as he tries catching up to him. Steve turns around with a frown. “What are you talking about?”</p><p>Sam looks at Steve incredulously. “Come on man. I’ve known since I met you that you had a thing for that girl. Did you really think she’d stay single forever? Why didn’t you say anything before?”</p><p>Steve sighs and leans against the wall as he wipes a hand down his face. “Please just keep this between us, alright? I’ve never been sure if she felt anything other than friendship feelings toward me. She’s one of my closest friends, and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship if she doesn’t feel the same. I just never worked up the nerve to ask like Bucky did.” </p><p>“Well I hate to rub salt in the wounds but I think you’re going to be stuck wondering because there’s no way he’s letting that girl go.”</p><p>Steve casts his eyes down to the ground and shakes his head. “Yeah I know. I wouldn’t let her go either.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'll say it again, poor Steve. Yeah for Bucky though. Things are good for him.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
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</p><p>CHAPTER 10</p><p> </p><p>Steve makes eye contact with you from across the room. You both sigh dramatically and shake your heads. It started out as small sarcastic comments here and there. But it’s escalated to childish bickering and fighting. Bucky has Sam pinned to the floor of the gym with his metal arm smiling down at him smuggly. Sam’s flailing around trying to get up. “That’s cheating old man!”</p><p>“I’m sorry I can’t understand you over all the squawking I’m hearing bird boy.” Bucky chides.</p><p>After Steve officially made Bucky part of the Avengers he made him start going to training sessions with the rest of the team. Before then Bucky and Sam hadn’t really spent a lot of time together. Really just on the morning runs with Steve and they would say little sarcastic things to each other. Now they are constantly fighting like children. Steve made the mistake of thinking they just needed to get to know each other better and kept pairing them up during training. Boy was he wrong. It’s just getting progressively worse, and you think today he finally realized that. </p><p>“Alright Bucky that’s enough!” Steve yells out, his annoyed voice echoes through the gym. Bucky huffs at Steve and finally stands up, letting Sam off the ground. Sam takes the opportunity to knock Bucky’s legs out from under him and he falls to the ground with a hard thud. When you see Bucky is ready to retaliate you run across the gym toward him. “James don’t you dare.” You scold.</p><p>He already had his left arm cocked back ready to swing from his position on the floor, but the moment you called him James he froze. He knows he’s in trouble now. He looks up and smiles at you sheepishly when he sees you looming over him with your arms crossed. “Hey babydoll.”</p><p>“Don’t you hey babydoll me. You two better cool it.” You say with a scowl as you extend your arm and help him off the floor. He stands in front of you and puts both his hands around your waist. Then he brings out his sad puppy face. “I’m sorry doll, I’ll behave.” </p><p>You’re pretty sure it’s physically impossible for you to actually stay mad at him. And you’re also pretty sure he picked up on that a long time ago. Your scowl disappears and you can’t help but smile at him. He smiles back and leans in capturing your lips for a kiss.</p><p> </p><p>Steve, who was scolding Sam, was also facing you and saw the moment between you and Bucky. He had to turn his head away the moment you started kissing. You and Bucky have been officially dating for two months now. He’s trying really hard to be happy for the two of you. You really did do a lot for Bucky to make him feel like a person again instead of a weapon that Hydra created, and he wants his best friend to have happiness. But why did it have to be with the woman he’s been in love with for years? But he also can’t be mad at either of you about it because it’s not like he made his feelings known. So he has no one to blame but himself.</p><p>"Are they still…?" Steve whispers quietly to Sam. </p><p>"They sure are." Sam mumbles back.</p><p>"Alright that's enough, let's call it a day everyone." Steve suddenly yells out. </p><p>Steve’s voice makes you break the kiss you were still having with Bucky. Your boyfriend frowns at your confused face. You keep your eyes on Steve as you answer the question you knew Bucky was going to ask. “Steve never ends training early. He’s always a hard ass about it.” Now it’s Bucky’s turn to frown. “Is it because of me?”</p><p>You shake your head. “No, I don’t think so. But I’m going to go find out. He’s been acting strange lately anyway.” You lean up and give Bucky a quick kiss and then take off after Steve on the other side of the gym. You grab Steve by the arm, he looks surprised to see it’s you but follows you as you pull him along. “Okay Steve what’s up?”</p><p>“What do you mean?” He says trying and failing to pretend to not know what you’re talking about.</p><p>You cross your arms over your chest and narrow your eyes at him. “Really? I thought we’ve been over this enough times. You suck at lying. So let’s skip that part. Why did you end training early, you never do that?”</p><p>“I was just done with the nonsense between Sam and Bucky today. We’ll start fresh next time, and I know better than to partner them up now.”</p><p>You smirk at him. “That was better, almost believable. Except you’re you and have a guilty face when you lie. It’s not just today I’m talking about. You’ve been acting off for a while. You and Sharon fighting again or something? I haven’t seen her for a while.”</p><p>He casts his eyes down to the floor and shakes his head. “Sharon and I aren’t dating anymore. I broke up with her at Tony’s party.”</p><p>Your eyes go wide. Why is he just now telling you this? Tony surprisingly hasn’t had a party since New Year’s Eve. “Steve that was two months ago! Why haven’t you said anything? What happened?”</p><p>He shrugs his shoulders and finally raises his eyes to meet yours. “I don’t know. Didn’t really want to talk about it I guess. I should have broken up with her a long time ago. I was trying to make a bad thing work, and I can’t really come up with a good reason why. We fought all the time, and she didn’t really make me happy. Between the way she would treat Bucky, and how she treated you at the party I just decided enough was enough. I’m sorry for not telling you, but you’ve been kind of busy yourself anyway.”</p><p>You want to jump for joy that he finally broke up with that stupid cunt. But you feel terrible now because your best friend didn’t tell you something huge happening in his life because you’ve been so caught up in your relationship with Bucky. “Steve I’m so sorry. You’re absolutely right, I’ve been a terrible friend.” He shakes his head and opens his mouth obviously to disagree with you but you put your hand over his mouth to quiet him. “Don’t argue with me mister. I’m sorry I kinda stole your best friend away and then did a piss poor job at being your friend. I will try harder. How about we make a better effort to spend some time together at least a couple nights a month? Like our movie nights?”</p><p>You can feel him smiling against your hand. He gently pulls your hand away, but keeps a hold of it. “I like your idea and I think that’s fair. But for the record I don’t think you’re a terrible friend and I was never mad at you. Bucky’s kind of needed you more than me so I understand.”</p><p>You smile at Steve and wrap your arms around his middle and hug him tight. “So we’re okay?” You say with your head pressed against his chest. He wraps his arms around you, hugging you back and kisses the top of your head. “Yeah doll, we’re okay.”</p><p> </p><p>Steve internally sighs in relief. Because that was a close one. He didn’t have any other reasonable explanation than telling you the truth. Thankfully you brought up Sharon and that completely shifted the conversation.</p><p> </p><p>You’re laying in your bed waiting for Bucky to get back from his morning run with Steve. He said he was going to have a talk with Steve this morning too. You told him about the conversation you had with him in the gym yesterday. He felt bad just like you did. </p><p>Your bedroom door opens and closes. He doesn’t even knock anymore since he’s in here all the time. When Bucky’s handsome face comes into view he’s smiling at you. You can’t help but look him up and down. He has on a tight black t-shirt and running shorts that leave little to the imagination. He gives you a thumbs up and then jumps on the bed hovering over you. “So your run went well I take it?”</p><p>“Yeah we’re good. Do you know how beautiful you are? Or how happy it makes me that I can do this?” He leans down and kisses you making you forget what you were trying to talk to him about. As he’s kissing you he pulls the blanket away that was separating your bodies. When his flesh hand comes into contact with bare skin he breaks the kiss and looks down. You’re only wearing a tank top and underwear. He groans as he slides his hand up your bare thigh to your waist. “Oh you’re killing me doll.” Then he moves his body between your thighs and resumes kissing you. </p><p>Like always the kiss quickly gets heated. You can feel his arousal pressing against you, and it’s really hard to force yourself not to grind against him. Because you can feel how huge he is and you so badly just want him to fuck you into the matress. But every time you get to a certain point he abruptly stops. You never say anything because you said in the beginning that you move at his pace. So if he’s not ready, then he’s not ready.</p><p>He surprises you when he deepens the kiss and does what you’ve been trying not to do. He grinds against you and his arousal rubs against your core. You can’t help how good it feels and moan into his mouth. Then as you suspected he suddenly stops.</p><p>His body is still hovering above yours and he buries his face against your neck. “Fuck I want you so bad.” He growls out against your skin. You wrap your arms around him. “I haven’t said anything because I didn’t want you to feel pressured. But do you wanna tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?”</p><p>He sighs and flops down on the bed next to you. “My counselor says I should tell you, but I’ve just been avoiding talking about it.”</p><p>You turn on your side to face him and kiss his cheek. "Baby you know you can tell me anything. And you also know I'll never push you to do or talk about anything you're not ready for."</p><p>He gives you a small sad smile and pulls you against his chest. "I know doll. That's just one of the many things I love about you. I love you so much."</p><p>"I love you too Bucky."</p><p>He goes quiet after that and just runs his fingers through your hair. So you figured that was that for now. He wasn't ready to talk about whatever's going on in his head just yet. So you are surprised and caught off guard when he starts talking again. "Do you remember that really bad nightmare I had a few months ago?"</p><p>"Yeah of course I do. You were shaken up about it for a while."</p><p>"Well that's because you were in it." He whispers to you quietly. </p><p>"I kind of guessed that right away."</p><p>He stops running his fingers through your hair and wraps both his arms around you. Holding onto you like he's afraid you might disappear. "I'm not going to go into detail. But it was basically Hydra turned me back into the Winter Soldier and made me...hurt you." </p><p>You just stay quiet since you don't think he's done explaining to you yet and he sounded really upset saying those last two words. He takes a couple deep breaths before he starts again. "So the thing is, it didn't start out as a nightmare. It started out as a pretty good dream with me and you...in bed."</p><p>You lift your head and give him a curious look while also trying and failing not to smile. "You were having a sexy dream about me?"</p><p>He briefly cracks a shy smile. "Yes, I confess okay. But my problem is everytime we start getting there it reminds me and that nightmare pops into my head and ruins everything for me."</p><p>Okay now you understand a little better. You suppose that makes sense. He wants more but he keeps getting lost in his fears in his head. “So what if I have you so distracted you can’t think straight? Then that nightmare will stay out of your head.” He smiles at you and rolls back over so he’s hovering over you. “Oh yeah? How exactly do you think you’re going to accomplish that?”</p><p>You give him a mischievous smile. “I have a couple ideas. Do you want to try or do you want to stop?”</p><p>He bites his lip and looks you up and down. He has a hungry look in his eyes. “I’m definitely open to trying whatever you have in mind. I trust you.” You lean up and kiss him sweetly. You know he trusts you but hearing him say it out loud really means a lot. Trust doesn’t come easy for him. When you break the kiss you smile at him as you slide your hand between your bodies grabbing the bottom of your top and then quickly pull it over your head. You were still in your sleep clothes so you don’t have a bra on. His eyes go wide when he sees your bare body beneath him, with the exception of your underwear that you still have on. </p><p>As he’s gazing at your body you whisper to him. “You can touch me Bucky.”</p><p>“You’re so beautiful.” He says as he runs the tips of his fingers across your bare skin. Then he leans down kissing your lips softly then kisses along your jaw and neck. He slowly slides his flesh hand back up your body until he reaches your breast. Then he kisses down your chest to your other breast. You moan and arch your back. You can feel him smiling against your skin. Well your idea for distracting him is working so far. </p><p>“Can I touch you?” You whisper to him. He answers you in between the kisses and love bites he’s leaving on your skin. “You know I’m okay with you touching me. You don’t need to ask anymore.”</p><p>You slide your hand down his side and stop at the waistband of his jogging shorts. “This is different. Can I touch you?” You ask again as you trace your fingertips along his waist. When he finally understands what you’re saying he lifts his head locking his eyes with yours. He bites his bottom lip again and nods his head.</p><p>Slowly you slip your hand inside his boxer briefs and grip his rock hard cock. Fuck he’s huge. He moans the second your hand touches him. His moans get louder when you start stroking him. “Fuck. That feels good doll.” He gasps as he drops his forehead against your shoulder.</p><p>He slides his hand away from your breast and back down to your waist. He skates his fingertips along the edge of your underwear. “Can I?” He whispers against your skin. “Please.” You whisper back. Without further hesitation he slips his hand inside your underwear and slides two fingers through your wet folds. He groans and nips at the skin on your neck. “You’re so fucking wet.” Then he pushes two fingers inside you. </p><p>The more he moves his fingers the faster you start stroking him. “So good Bucky.” You gasp as you grind against his hand. You know he’s getting close when he starts moving his hips, thrusting into your hand. With your free hand you bring his face over to yours. “Come all over me Bucky.” He growls and crashes his lips against yours. Then he starts rubbing your clit making you moan into his mouth.</p><p>He breaks the kiss when you cry out as you come around his talented fingers. He follows shortly after you. His hips stutter and you feel a warmth on your stomach as he comes with your name on his lips. </p><p>Both of you are breathing heavily. You release his slowly softening cock and he pulls his hand out of your underwear. He lifts his head with a dopey smile on his face. You can’t help but smile back at him. “So my distractions worked?”</p><p>He leans forward and gives you a bruising kiss. “You had me so distracted doll, I couldn’t think straight.”</p><p> </p><p>You yawn and wipe the sleep from your eyes as you sleepily enter Steve’s office. You see him sitting at his desk already in his uniform. It’s really annoying what a morning person he is. “Why am I being summoned awake at the ass crack of dawn?” You mumble grumpily.</p><p>He chuckles at your grumpy face. “Sorry sleeping beauty but I needed to talk to you and it kind of couldn’t wait.” You sigh and plop down in a chair and just wave your hand at him signaling for him to continue. “Well we’ve been partners for years, and I know we’ve gone out on separate missions since we moved here because of Bucky but I think we might have to permanently switch it up.”</p><p>That gets you to finally wake up. “Huh? What do you mean?”</p><p>“I think I should partner with Bucky for a while, and I know you two already agreed not to go on missions together. So it’s not because I don’t want to be your partner anymore I just think it’s what’s best for Bucky right now until we see how he does. I’ll put you with Nat, and probably Clint. But please don’t make me regret sending you and Clint out together.”</p><p>You put your hand over your chest acting offended about his last comment. “How dare you insinuate me and Clint can’t act like grown ups when we’re together. We did just fine on that mission you sent us out on a couple months ago.”</p><p>He raises an eyebrow at you with an amused look on his face. “Oh yes, well I heard you were competing over who could catch the most bad guys and you two were stringing them up like cattle. Seriously? You were hog tying people?”</p><p>“They were drug dealers so who cares, and it was hilarious. Besides I didn’t hear you complaining about the end result. It got the job done didn’t it? I’d say we were more productive if you ask me.”</p><p>He rolls his eyes at you in response. “I’m pretty sure that’s why Fury never partnered the two of you. Anyway, how about you focus on the original subject.”</p><p>You lean back in your chair and sigh. “Okay, sorry. Yes in all seriousness I am sad at the thought of us not being partners anymore, but at the same time I also understand. So thank you for at least talking to me about it first.”</p><p>Steve gives you a sad smile and gets up and walks around his desk leaning against it in front of you. “Of course doll. I’m sad about it too, but that also leads me to the other reason I woke you up early. How about one more mission together?”</p><p>That gets you to perk up. So that explains why he’s in his uniform. “Really? Like right now?”</p><p>“Yeah right now. If you're in that is. It’s probably just recon though.” </p><p>You excitedly jump up from your seat and wrap your arms around his middle. “Yes! Yes I’m totally in. Give me 20 minutes to get ready and to tell Bucky.”</p><p> </p><p>Sitting on the floor of an empty apartment building you sigh for like the tenth time. “This is like the most boring mission ever.” Steve’s on the other side of the room, he sighs also. “Yeah I agree with you there. It was a weak lead on possible Chitauri weapons, but we still had to check it out.”</p><p>You’ve been sitting there for hours watching a neighboring apartment building but there has been zero activity. And it’s fucking freezing in this building. There’s no heat, in fact it feels like the air conditioning is on. “If Clint were here he’d find a way to make this not boring.” You mutter with your teeth chattering.</p><p>“Doll come here before you freeze to death.” Steve pleads...again. He’s asked you several times already. You’ve been refusing because you know what he’s going to do. While you still want your friendship, you're trying to keep some boundaries between you so you can keep your feelings for him stuffed far away. But you’re so incredibly cold and you know his body runs hot, like a furnace. Bucky is the same way. So you relent and crawl across the room over to him. </p><p>He’s sitting with his back against the wall. He smiles when you’re sitting in front of him and opens his arms. Once you’re within arms reach he pulls you between his legs with your back against his chest and he wraps his big strong arms around you. Even with his uniform you can feel his body heat radiating through it. You can’t help but sink into him and take in all his warmth. “There was that so hard? You’re even colder than I thought. I don’t know why you’re being so stubborn.”</p><p>“Keep things interesting?”</p><p>“I thought it was just because you didn’t want me touching you. You’ve been that way since you started dating Bucky.” He says with sadness in his voice.</p><p>Your heart sinks hearing that. You’re doing a terrible job and maintaining your friendship while trying to keep your feelings in check. “Steve I’m sorry. I already apologized the other day for being such a shitty friend. But I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”</p><p>“And I already told you I don’t think you’re a shitty friend. I’m just being petty, I’m sorry for saying that. It’s just you were my friend first, and then Bucky came along. Things have changed a lot since D.C., so I’m still trying to get used to the changes I guess.”</p><p>You lean your head back so you can see his face. “I understand, but you know that no matter what you’re still my best friend and I love you right?”</p><p>He smiles at you and leans in kissing your temple. “I do know that, but still nice to hear. Bucky may have had the best friend title already, but I can have two best friends. You’re also my best friend and I love you too doll.” Then he pulls you back against his chest. “Now how about you get some rest. I’ll keep watch and keep you from freezing.”</p><p>“Okay, thank you Steve.” You mumble sounding sleepy already. But you can’t help how good it feels to be held in his arms like this.</p><p>“Anything for you doll.” He whispers as you drift off to sleep. He leans his head back against the wall and sighs. This time for a completely different reason. Hearing you say you love him made his heart swell. He just wishes you loved him the same way he loves you.</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is just a fluffy smutty chapter with  Bucky. Not much plot. Enjoy.</p><p>The next chapter will end where 'Meant To Be' starts.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>CHAPTER 11</p><p> </p><p>When you and Steve return from your very uneventful mission you both return to an empty Tower. Well your floor is empty at least. You both part ways and head to your rooms. You half expected Bucky to be in your room, but he wasn’t there either. You had texted him when you were on your way home so you wonder where he is. You decide to shower first and if Bucky still hasn’t turned up you’ll go search for him.</p><p>Maybe you can wash your guilt away in the shower. Not likely, but one can hope. You love Bucky, but the more you try to stuff away your feelings for Steve the more you seem to unintentionally affect him. You’ve been replaying that conversation with him over and over. How he told you he loved you too. You feel guilty that your first thought was too bad he doesn’t love you the way you love him. Then you also feel guilty for how much you enjoyed being held and falling asleep in his arms. Why can’t you let Steve go? There’s got to be some middle ground you can find to maintain your friendship. Seems to be easier said than done though.</p><p>Once you finish your shower you check your phone. Still no text from Bucky. When you exit your bathroom you're surprised to see that someone has been in your bedroom, but has since left. There’s a dress laying on your bed with a note on it. It’s a simple but beautiful black dress. You smile when you open the note and see Bucky’s handwriting.</p><p> </p><p><em>Get dressed babydoll and meet me on the jet landing dock</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Short and to the point. Okay...You wonder what he’s up to. Well you’ll have to get dressed to find out right? So you get dressed and make your way through the Tower. Which you find it odd your floor is still empty. That almost never happens. When you get to your destination it looks dark inside until you push the door all the way open.</p><p>You almost can’t believe your eyes. The dock doors are wide open so you can see the night sky and a view of the city lights. Bucky’s in a suit holding a bouquet of flowers, standing next to what looks like a candle light dinner he set up. His face lights up when he sees you, and you do the same. “What’s all this?”</p><p>“Well I realized I have failed to take my best girl out on a date. I’m hoping this will suffice for now. And you owe me a dance. I never got one on New Year’s remember?” He says with a smile.</p><p>You completely forgot about that. It’s so cute that he remembered. You walk over to him and set your flowers he handed you on the table so you can wrap your arms around him. “You are like the sweetest boyfriend ever. This is a perfect date baby. Is that why everyone is gone?”</p><p>“Yeah Steve helped kick everyone out for at least a couple hours.”</p><p> </p><p>After dinner Bucky turns some music on and extends his hand to you pulling you to your feet and flush against him. “How about that dance now dollface?” You lean up and capture his lips for a kiss. “Ready when you are handsome.”</p><p>As he starts dancing with you for the first time you can’t help but notice how similar it is to dancing with Steve. Which in turn brings your guilty feelings back. You don’t want him to think you’re not having fun, because you really are, so you try your best to keep a smile on your face. Which actually isn’t too hard anytime you look into his beautiful blue eyes. “You taught Steve to dance didn’t you?” You ask him curiously.</p><p>He laughs at that. “That depends...does he still step on people's feet?” You can’t help but laugh at that also. “No, he’s never stepped on mine at least.”</p><p>“Okay, well then yes I taught him way back when he was 5ft nothing.” You snort out another laugh. That reminds you of the time you went to the Smithsonian with Steve and they had the life size models of him. You told him he was so cute and small he could fit in your pocket.</p><p>Bucky pulls you from your thoughts that you shouldn’t be thinking right now when he puts his hand on your face. “You’re always beautiful, but you’re really beautiful when you smile.” Oh how easily this man just makes you melt. He smiles as he leans down pressing his lips to yours. You want him to know just how much you love him so you wrap your arms around him and deepen the kiss.</p><p>It starts to get heated after that. He slides his hands down your body stopping at your ass and pulls you flush against him for a second time. You moan into his mouth and start shoving him backwards until his legs hit a chair. Without breaking the kiss he sits down and pulls you onto his lap. The two of you haven’t had sex yet, so to say you are eager would be an understatement. You’ve fooled around a lot, but that’s it.</p><p>When he breaks the kiss you’re worried he’s going to stop. He puts his hands on your legs under your dress and slowly slides them up to your thighs. “I want you so bad doll.”</p><p>“I want you too Bucky.”</p><p>His eyes darken when he finally realizes you’re not wearing any underwear. “Someone was a little presumptuous about tonight.” He teases. You lean down and nibble on his ear while you whisper. “A girl can hope right?” He groans and slips his hand between your legs. “You’re so fucking wet. I want you but not it here. Tony probably has cameras somewhere.”</p><p>Cameras be damned you can’t help but moan and grind against his hand as soon as he starts touching you. He lets out a growl and jumps to his feet while holding you up by the back of your thighs. He crashes his lips against yours and blindly makes his way toward the door. You start undoing his tie and drop it somewhere along the way. Then you try unbuttoning his shirt but it quickly gets frustrating so you just rip it open and buttons go flying everywhere.</p><p>He presses you up against the wall as he tries getting the bedroom door open which is hard because he doesn’t want to pry his lips away from yours. Eventually he gets the door open, slamming it shut behind him and then carries you over to the bed. He drops you onto the bed so he can peel off the rest of his clothes. After you quickly throw your dress off he only gets as far as taking his shirt off and unbuckling his belt because you pull him back down on top of you. “I need you now.” You gasp out as you free him from the confines of his pants.</p><p>“You sure?” He whispers to you with lust blown eyes.</p><p>You start stroking him with one hand and the other goes on the back of his neck. “I have been dying to have your huge cock inside me for a while. So yes I’m sure I want you to fuck me right now.” He lets out another growl as he crashes his lips against yours. You line him up with your entrance, both of you moan as he quickly pushes all the way inside you in one swift motion. It burns, him stretching you at first. But you’re so wound up right now it feels good. “Oh fuck.” He gasps against your lips. “You feel so good doll.”</p><p>He leans on his metal hand and with his flesh hand he holds your hip, hooking your leg over his. He kisses you gently this time, quite the opposite from before. “I love you (Y/N).” You smile and wrap your arms around him. “I love you too Bucky.” After one more gentle kiss he slowly pulls out and pushes back in a couple times. He forced himself to calm down some so that he doesn’t accidentally hurt you. But you don’t want calm right now.</p><p>You slide your hands down his body and grab his ass pulling him deeper. “I said fuck me Bucky.” You whisper next to his ear. That seemed to be the last push that he needed. He gives you a bruising kiss and then buries his face in your neck as he slams into you over and over. “Oh fuck yes! Don’t stop!” You gasp out.</p><p>He had no intentions whatsoever of stopping. He relentlessly pounds into you so hard the bed starts slamming against the wall. Surely there’s leaving dents each time. He has your eyes rolling back and it doesn’t take long before he has you on the edge. He grabs your leg spreading you open wider allowing him to go deeper. He has you coming so fast you don’t even get a chance to warn him. You cry out as your walls tighten and spasm around him. Watching you come and call out his name pushed him over the edge with you. He moans out your name as his hips stutter and he spills his release deep inside you.</p><p>You both lay there gasping for air for a few minutes. He kisses your neck before unburying his face. He smiles down at you. “Why’d we wait so long to do this again?” You just chuckle at him and pull him back down for a kiss.</p><p>When he breaks the kiss he looks down at your body and skates his fingertips across your bare skin. You feel his cock that’s still buried inside you twitch. You smirk at him. “The perks of dating a super soldier. Little to no recovery time. You ready for round two Sergeant?”</p><p>He smiles back at you. “Always. I’ll never get enough of you babydoll.”</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Final Chapter...so this chapter skips ahead a bit, but it ends right where 'Meant to Be' starts.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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<p>CHAPTER 12</p>
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<p>Bucky enters your bedroom with his hands behind his back, your now shared bedroom. He moved in officially several months ago. You smile when you see him. “Hey handsome. Whatcha hiding?” You say as you try leaning side to side to see what’s behind his back. Eventually he unhides his hands and reveals several roses handing them over to you.</p>
<p>A little tradition he started when he began going out on missions after your first date. He brings you a single red rose everytime he leaves for a mission. This is the first time with the exception of date nights of course that he’s brought you a bundle of them. You take the roses but give him a curious look. “Either you did something bad and you’re trying to butter me up or you’re going to be gone a long time. So which is it?”</p>
<p>He rolls his eyes at you playfully. “I didn’t do anything bad. I might be gone about a week. I haven’t been gone that long for a while.”</p>
<p>You groan dramatically while you go find something to put your flowers in. “That means I’m not going to sleep much for the next week. I’m so used to sleeping next to you it’s hard falling asleep by myself.”</p>
<p>He walks up behind you as you put your flowers in a vase and he wraps his arms around you with his chin resting on your shoulder. “I know doll, trust me I have the same problem when you’re gone. But do you think you and Barton can behave when he gets back while me and Steve are gone this time?”</p>
<p>Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes. “It was an accident! Is no one going to let us live that down?” Bucky kisses your cheek with a smile on his face. “Probably not since the entire Tower had to be evacuated thanks to the two of you.”</p>
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<p>A couple months ago you and Clint were having another ridiculous competition because well you were bored. Half the team was gone so Clint came up with the great idea of racing you through the air vents. Which started out fun at first. But somehow the two of you ended up in the same vent and were fighting to see who could push through first. That specific area couldn’t hold the weight of both of you and collapsed. So you both fell through the ceiling and happened to land in Tony and Bruce’s lab breaking all kinds of things. Some chemicals mixed together creating some kind of weird gas and it got sucked through the ventilation system and quickly spread through the Tower. Thankfully it ended up not being harmful but everyone had to be evacuated to be safe. Needless to say Tony and Bruce weren’t too happy with the two of you. Tony has since tried blocking the air vents so you and Clint can’t get through but much to his dismay so far everything he’s tried hasn’t worked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You walk with Bucky to the Quinjet to see him and Steve off. You’re not looking forward to the next week. You’re going to miss both of them. You likely won’t get much sleep and your partner in crime is out on a mission too so you have no one to help pass the time with.</p>
<p>Bucky suddenly picks you up and pins you between his body and the wall. Then he crashes his lips against yours. You wrap your arms and legs around him kissing him back with fervor. When he breaks the kiss you are completely breathless. “That was one hell of a goodbye kiss.” You say with a huge smile on your face while still trying to catch your breath.</p>
<p>He smiles back at you and shrugs his shoulders. “You were thinking too hard, had to get your attention somehow. Plus I’m really gonna miss you babydoll.”</p>
<p>“Sorry I’m just not looking forward to this next week. I’ll miss you too baby.”</p>
<p>He gives you another bruising kiss before gently setting you back on the ground. You see Steve with his back turned waiting next to the Quinjet. Thankfully you have finally found that middle ground you were looking for with your friendship with Steve. It took a while but everything seems to be good between both of you now, and you got your feelings in check...most of the time. That part’s a work in progress you suppose. But you have been able to maintain your movie nights a couple times a month just like you promised. You just don’t fall asleep next to him anymore.</p>
<p>You walk over to Steve and tap him on the shoulder. He turns around and when he sees it's you he smiles and opens his arms pulling you into a tight hug. “You two be safe please.” You say with your face pressed against his chest.</p>
<p>“Well will doll, I promise. Now can you promise that you and Clint won’t blow the place up while we’re gone?” He says half jokingly.</p>
<p>You huff at him. “It was an accident and there was no explosion!” You can hear Bucky behind you snickering since he already gave you the same talk. But you can’t turn around to glare at him since Steve still has a hold of you. “I know. I’m teasing...sort of. Can you two behave at least whenever he gets back?”</p>
<p>You lean back and smirk at him. “Depends on your definition of behaving I guess?” Steve sighs dramatically and gives you another hug. “See you in a few days doll.” After you tell Steve goodbye you give Bucky another hug and kiss.</p>
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<p>You flop down on the couch dramatically even though there’s no one around. You are so incredibly bored and tired. Bucky’s been gone three days and you’ve hardly slept. Too bad Thor is back in Asgard, he could entertain you with his storytelling. Nat is around but she’s working with the new additions to your Avenger family that joined several months ago, Wanda and Vision. Bruce is around too, wholed up in his lab. So whenever Nat’s done with training she’ll be on Bruce. They’ve been dating just as long as you and Bucky. You think they are cute together, and you’re happy for them.</p>
<p>As you’re laying on the couch staring at the ceiling you hear someone come into the room. You slowly turn your head to see who it is. You can’t help but smile when you see Clint flop down dramatically on the couch across from you the same way you did. “Tough mission?”</p>
<p>He turns his head toward you and shrugs his shoulder. “Nothing I couldn’t handle. It was just a long trip back.” Then he digs around beside him on the couch and pulls out a bottle of liquor with a mischievous smile on his face. He just waves the bottle at you. You know what that means.</p>
<p>“Tony and Steve will kill us if we make any more messes.”</p>
<p>“We won’t make any messes then.” He says confidently.</p>
<p>“What about Laura and the kids? They aren’t expecting you? Because you won’t be going anywhere if we open that bottle.”</p>
<p>He rolls himself off the couch with the mischievous smile still on his face. “Nope, they’re all at Laura’s parents house for a few days. Tony is out of town, and Steve isn’t due back for a couple more days. I’d say we’re good to go my friend.”</p>
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<p>Steve and Bucky climb off the Quinjet and head inside the Tower. The moment they get through the door they hear loud music playing and laughter. Specifically your laughter, and they both groan in unison when they hear Clint’s laughter followed by the sound of glass breaking. “I don’t know whether to consider this a good or bad thing that we got back early.” Steve says exasperatedly.</p>
<p>Bucky claps Steve on the shoulder and chuckles. “My girl sounds like she’s having a good time at least.” Steve plasters a fake smile on his face and nods his head. It’s not because you’re having a good time. It was hearing Bucky call you ‘his girl’ because he’s had to finally accept the fact that you are Bucky’s girl. Still a hard pill for him to swallow sometimes though.</p>
<p>They follow the sounds of the loud music through the halls. When they come around a corner the first thing they see is Nat, Bruce, and Wanda with a drink in their hands and watching the otherside of the room. They step further into the room and see you and Clint. It looks like you were playing pool. But now you’re just stacking up all the empty shot glasses and shooting the pool balls at the glasses. Which fly off the table and shatter on the floor. Apparently whoever breaks the most wins.</p>
<p>Steve and Bucky walk over to Nat, you and Clint have yet to notice them. Steve crosses his arms and gives Nat a disapproving look. “You’re just sitting here watching the show?”</p>
<p>Nat smirks at him and shrugs her shoulders. “They are actually pretty entertaining tonight and they’ve stayed in this room. I’d say one messy room with some broken glass is a win wouldn’t you?”</p>
<p>“How long have they been drinking?” Steve asks cautiously.</p>
<p>“Couple hours. They said they aren’t stopping until one of them wins. I’m assuming that means when one of them pukes or passes out. So far they're both going strong.”</p>
<p>Steve looks to his best friend for help. Bucky’s been quiet because he’s just smiling at you. You’re completely wasted but you have a huge smile on your face. Bucky feels Steve’s eyes on him so he turns toward him with an annoyed look on his face. “She’s having fun, I’m not gonna wipe that smile off her face. And my girl can drink so let her win.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You and Clint both down another shot. Then you take your turn shooting the pool queue at the shot glasses. You can’t remember whose idea this was, but it’s been pretty fun. In your drunken haze you can feel eyes on you. You hand the pool stick to Clint and look up and you lock eyes with Steve who has a disapproving look on his face. You make a weird noise that sounds something like a ‘yipe’ and then you grab Clint and pull him in front of you like a shield. “What’s happening?” Clint slurs out sounding confused.</p>
<p>“Stevie looks mad. He can’t give me a grumpy face if he can’t see me.” You thought you whispered your words so only Clint could hear you, but it was more like whisper yelling and everyone heard you. When did the music get turned down?</p>
<p>“Uh oh dad’s home.” Clint mumbles. Then you feel his body moving as he lowers himself to the ground and hides behind the pool table. You drop to the floor with him to avoid Steve’s stare. Thankfully there’s no glass on that side of the floor.</p>
<p>When you hear laughter you peek from behind the pool table and see Bucky’s handsome smiling face. How did you not see him next to Steve? Maybe you're drunker than you thought. You jump back to your feet and run across the room towards Bucky. He smiles and opens his arms when he sees you coming. You jump into his open arms and wrap yourself around him. “Hiiii baby. You’re back early.”</p>
<p>“Yeah we got done sooner than expected. So...it looks like you and Clint are having fun.”</p>
<p>You nod your head against his shoulder. “Is Captain frowny pants still frowning at me?” Again you try and fail to actually whisper. Bucky starts laughing again. You love hearing him laugh. He gently lifts your face and gives you a kiss. “Don’t worry about it. Go kick Barton’s ass. I’ll carry you back to our room when you're done.” You smile back at him and give him one more kiss before he sets you down. You step over to Steve and give him a hug which makes his face soften. “Missed you too Stevie.” Then you stumble your way back over to Clint.</p>
<p>Steve cracks a small smile. “She only calls me Stevie when she’s drunk. That’s usually the first thing that gives her away.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You and Clint resume your drinking game. After about another 45 minutes you see Clint freeze and hold a hand to his stomach. Then he runs to the nearest trash can and throws up. When he has a brief moment of reprieve he takes off for the bathroom. You smile and jump up and down victoriously. “Yes! I win! Haha!”</p>
<p>You abruptly stop jumping and hold a hand to your own stomach and groan. Okay that probably wasn’t a very good idea. You hear Nat sigh. “I’ll deal with Clint, you deal with her.” Bucky walks across the room and scoops you up in his arms. “Come on babydoll you won. Now let’s get you to bed.” You smile with your face against his neck and shoulder, and lift one of your hands to his face. “I love your face.”</p>
<p>Bucky chuckles at you. “Just my face huh? That’s all I am to you, just a pretty face?” He teases. You start petting his face. “You do have a pretty face, but I love all of you.” He hugs you a little tighter in his arms. “I love all of you too.”</p>
<p>Steve has a sad smile on his face as he listens to the two of you and watches Bucky carry you out of the room. You are Bucky’s girl now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>About a week after your drunken night with Clint happened, Tony and Pepper return to the Tower. Tony wants to have a party, big surprise right? Well Pepper wants to make it more meaningful so she’s decided to host a charity ball. So you, Nat, and Wanda are helping her with some of the planning.</p>
<p>You’re sitting in a conference room which is surrounded by glass walls so you can see out into the hallways. You get distracted when you see Steve. As you’re watching him you soon figure out what he’s doing. He’s playing referee between Bucky and Sam who look like they are wrestling on the floor in the hallway. “Fucking boys. Poor Steve.” You mumble.</p>
<p>Nat scoffs when she sees what you’re mumbling to yourself about. “Yeah you can say that again.” Then she bumps her shoulder into yours. So you turn your head toward her with a questioning look on your face. “Wanna hear something funny I never told you?”</p>
<p>“Sure?” You say cautiously since you’re not sure where she’s going with this.</p>
<p>“Back in our Shield days I thought for sure you and Steve had a thing for each other. So I thought I could make one or both of you crack. That’s why I kept trying to set him up on dates. And then when you lost that bet with Rumlow I thought it was perfect timing, and for sure I’d get Steve to crack. But boy was I wrong, cause neither of you did. I guess he was actually into Sharon and you were just waiting for a different super soldier to come along.”</p>
<p>You stare at her incredulously with your mouth wide open, blinking your eyes. Seriously? That’s what all of that torment you endured was about? You take a deep breath and pull yourself together. You plaster a fake smile on your face. “That is funny, cause Steve and I are just friends obviously.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After that you go back to helping Pepper, or trying to at least. But you keep thinking about what Nat said. It just kind of rubs salt in your wounds that you were right about Steve not having feelings for you. But it shouldn’t matter now though because you have Bucky. And Steve is still your best friend. Tony suddenly enters the room which helps you out of the loop of racing thoughts you were stuck in. “Anyone know where all my shot glasses went? I can’t find a single one.”</p>
<p>Nat and Wanda smirk at you. You clear your throat awkwardly. “No. Nope. I have no idea. That’s strange, I wonder what happened. Hey I think Steve needs help breaking up the boys. I’ll catch up with you guys later.” Then you bolt out of the room.</p>
<p>Tony rolls his eyes as he watches you run away like the room is on fire. “It was her and Barton wasn’t it?” Nat and Wanda just burst into laughter. That should be enough to answer his question, but they don’t offer any information. “Fine I’ll just have Friday pull up the surveillance footage.” He mutters to himself.</p>
<p>“Have fun watching.” Nat yells out as he walks away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You run up next to Steve and do a quick glance over your shoulder to make sure Tony didn’t follow you. You and Clint are gonna get an ear full about that. Steve smiles at you and gives you a curious look. “Tony was asking about the missing shot glasses so I bailed.”</p>
<p>He laughs and shakes his head at you. “Sorry doll, but he was going to find out sooner or later.”</p>
<p>“Yeah well I’m pushing for later. So, do you want help with these two?” You point to Bucky and Sam who are on the ground. Bucky has him pinned again. Steve lets out an exasperated sigh. “Yes, that would be great actually. Because they aren’t listening to me.”</p>
<p>You wink at him. “I’ll get it done with just one word.” You put your hands on your hips and clear your throat then you belt out your boyfriend’s name. “James!” He instantly freezes and looks up at you with what he’s hoping is an innocent smile. Steve scoffs at his friend. “Why does that only work for her?”</p>
<p>“Because I sleep next to her. Can’t have my best girl mad at me, now can I?” He says like that should be the most obvious reason in the world. He climbs to his feet, walks over Sam and stands in front of you with his heart melting sad puppy eyes. You sigh and loop your arm through his and pull him along with you. “Come on you trouble making boy.”</p>
<p>He smiles triumphantly to himself knowing you’re not mad at him. “How’s the party planning going?” He says in an attempt to shift the conversation.</p>
<p>“It’s fine, and actually I wanted to ask you something. It’s not going to be like Tony’s other parties. It’s a charity ball. Think you would be up to trying to come with me? You said you wanted to get out more.”</p>
<p>Bucky bites his lip nervously and stops walking. He looks down at your pleading eyes. “I don’t want to make a promise and break it. Can I think about it? At least say that I’ll try?”</p>
<p>You lean up and kiss him sweetly. “That’s perfectly fair. All that I ask is that you try. Plus we still have several weeks to work up to it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Two days before the party…</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bucky goes running into Steve’s office. He bursts in without knocking. Steve gives him a confused look, he was in the middle of getting things ready for the recon mission he’s going on in a couple hours. “Let me go on the mission instead. Please?” Bucky practically begs.</p>
<p>“How did you even know I was going anywhere?”</p>
<p>“I heard feathers telling Natasha. So can I go in your place?”</p>
<p>Steve sets his things down and crosses his arms over his chest. “What about the party? (Y/N) was looking forward to going with you....You’re trying to get out going aren’t you?” When Bucky doesn’t answer him right away that tells him his assumptions are correct. He leans his head back and groans. “Oh come on Bucky. She went dress shopping and everything.”</p>
<p>Bucky’s shoulders slump and he casts his eyes down. “I know okay, but just the thought of all those people looking at me makes me anxious and uncomfortable. And I didn’t promise her, I just told her I would try. You can take her for me. She likes dancing with you anyway.”</p>
<p>Steve gives his best friend a sympathetic look. He’s being honest, so he can’t be mad at him for it. And what's the harm in taking you to the party? You’ll still have a good time with him right? He sighs and wipes a hand down his face. “Okay Buck, you win. You can take my place. But you and Sam better put your bickering aside.”</p>
<p>Bucky gets a relieved look on his face. “No problem. And thank you.”</p>
<p>“You know she’s going to figure out what you’re up to right away don’t you?”</p>
<p>Bucky smirks at Steve. “Yeah, but she never stays mad at me for long. I’ll make it up to her when I get back. Besides, you’ll look after my girl while I’m gone right?”</p>
<p>“Yeah of course Buck.”</p>
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  <em>What's the worst that could happen...?</em>
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